I have to take a moment here, because so many terribly mean and miserable people think they live in a world where their meaness and miserableness is invisible. I have to take a moment to let them know they are not invisible. We see you. And what we see appalls us.
This mean and miserable person is completely without any kindness inside her; if kindness ever existed at all, it has shriveled and died. In fact, I don't believe she is capable of kindness, unless there is some reward for her at the end of it, and even then, the kindness is just a means to whatever end she has in mind, and merely an act.
To you, and you know who you are, and if you don't, than you're as stupid as you are mean and miserable, we think, and by we I mean all caring, sensitive and decent people in the world, that there is something terribly wrong with you. You are mentally ill. To be mentally ill and not not seek professional help for your mental illness is your prerogative. But to lead your son down your path of mental illness so that you won't have to live in your desperate misery by yourself is a sin against nature. Your son is exhibiting the same mental illness you have, and you are creating it. But then, misery does love company, doesn't it? Why not create a monster to take your place once your miserable life has come to an end. That way your evil can live for at least another generation.
Get help, not for you, because I believe you are totally beyond redemption, but for your son. You're an awful parasite, one who will live off your own children's unhappiness to attain some goal you have for yourself. That is a sin against nature. You are a sin against nature.
The word despicable is too kind for you.