I had surgery on my left eye today for removal of a cataract. Now I know that my vision has been getting worse steadily, but I honestly had no idea of just how bad it was until I came home from the hospital today and looked at my kitchen, which is white. Really white. Except, out of my uncorrected eye, it is definitely a yellowish brown, as was the entire world. I had simply gotten used to poor vision. I am so happy, and so thankful to my opthamologist for giving me new eyes - well one new eye. Getting the other one done in two weeks. I haven't been able to drive at night for a long time, so I'm anxious to see if once again I'll be able to go someplace after the sun sets.
Anyhow, I just have to mention that modern medicine is a complete marvel (as long as the doctor is, too). In a way, the surgery is a little strange; you're pretty relaxed but aware of things. The part that really sticks in my mind is the eye thingy they slap on your face to hold your eye open. It reminded me of the scene in Clockwork Orange where they strap the droog down, attach a device that won't let him blink, and make him watch horrible acts to cure him of violence and aggression. Stanley Kubrick.....a visionary (no pun intended) for sure.
Not sure if I'm cured of violence and aggression, but I am SO happy with having one good eye, I could just shout from the rooftops. But I have to clean my kitchen first.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Monday, January 21, 2013
Inauguration Day - 2013
All my faithful readers know that I rant about every thing that annoys me; politically, personally and unrepentantly. There is, quite frankly, no person on the planet more irreverent than I am, nor more able to get in your face with the truth at every turn. Making the hopelessly ignorant squirm is my mission.
But no rant today. Just an honest to goodness appreciation that this country, for all its horrendous people and problems, managed to reelect the best president we've had in a long time despite the best efforts of money, crooks and puppet masters.
Congratulations, Barack Obama. Against all odds, you bring hope to the world. You understand the world's problems and you never let the slime balls you have to deal with bring you down to their level. You're a good man. And if someone can say that about you these days, you don't have to accomplish anything else!
Take note Donald Trump. If you had an ounce of integrity, you might be sitting in the white house. Unfortunately, you are doomed to sit in your barber's chair, getting bad hair plugs that are almost as awful to look at as anything that comes out of your mouth is difficult to hear.
Oooops. Sorry. Couldn't help myself.
But no rant today. Just an honest to goodness appreciation that this country, for all its horrendous people and problems, managed to reelect the best president we've had in a long time despite the best efforts of money, crooks and puppet masters.
Congratulations, Barack Obama. Against all odds, you bring hope to the world. You understand the world's problems and you never let the slime balls you have to deal with bring you down to their level. You're a good man. And if someone can say that about you these days, you don't have to accomplish anything else!
Take note Donald Trump. If you had an ounce of integrity, you might be sitting in the white house. Unfortunately, you are doomed to sit in your barber's chair, getting bad hair plugs that are almost as awful to look at as anything that comes out of your mouth is difficult to hear.
Oooops. Sorry. Couldn't help myself.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Act 10 Rally Before Death
Scott Walker and his droogs may think they have won the Act 10 legislation battle, but they've only won a seriously flawed decision by the Court of Appeals.
The Supreme Court will hear this case, and Act 10 will be struck down.
So enjoy your moment now, republican gangsters. Your ridiculously unfair legislation will be exposed as the mindless piece of crap writing it actually is right before you're all up for reelection. And the State of Wisconsin citizenry will then realize, we can't afford you yokels in office, in any way, shape or form.
He who laughs last, laughs longest and hardest!
The Supreme Court will hear this case, and Act 10 will be struck down.
So enjoy your moment now, republican gangsters. Your ridiculously unfair legislation will be exposed as the mindless piece of crap writing it actually is right before you're all up for reelection. And the State of Wisconsin citizenry will then realize, we can't afford you yokels in office, in any way, shape or form.
He who laughs last, laughs longest and hardest!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Keith Best is the Worst -- Liar
Unfortunately, I sometimes read the Milwaukee Urinal for lack of any other substantive news source here in Milwaukee. And for amusement, I read the Letters to the Editor, because if one wants to gauge the level of intelligence in an area, reading these letters is key!
Today's letter comes courtesy of Keith Best, Member of the Executive Board of the Republican Party of Waukesha County (everyone who is anyone hates Waukesha County).
Let me dissect his letter, line by line. My comments are in italics.
"Over the past few years, Wisconsin has undergone a complete makeover".
Sure has. From pristine, natural beauty to the ugly sister with a black, hairy mole on her soul.
"Despite reckless spending and other disastrous financial policy at the federal level, Wisconsin has seen its workforce go back to work".
Er, yes, but, they went back to work from high paying manufacturing jobs to minimum wage hotel door man jobs.
"Under the previous administration, our state lost 150,000 jobs".
We've lost that many and more jobs and new business ventures since Walker took office. Hell, Doyle's administration was a model of dignity and democracy compared to this roving band of one track minded zealots.
"The workforce was under trained and needing help".
Well, come on. It still is under trained and needing help. But how much training do you need to open a door or flip a burger or say hello to some freak of nature at Walmart?
"So Gov. Scott Walker has seen to it that our workers received the training and skills they need to fill jobs that are in demand."
You betcha. There's nothing like watching your family starve to death to motivate one to take any crap job in the world that pays $8 so you can be turned down at the food pantry, because you're employed.
"Also, through reductions in red tape and administrative costs, we have seen more money flood into the classroom."
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. I work in a school. There is no flood of money, but the bull$hit flooding out of Mr. Best's mouth is legendary. That's one thing you can always count on from a republican, to blatantly lie at every opportunity. Tell a lie enough and it becomes a truth......well, it will to another republican. Most of us are conscious of this ploy of the uncreative, by now.
"By eliminating waste, fraud and abuse, Walker has helped make reforms that have led to millions in savings for the taxpayers".
Walker's staffers, when he was Milwaukee County Executive, have gone to trial and been found guilty of various fraudulent activities. The economic development agency that Walker set up is under investigation for total mismanagement, and the loss of millions of dollars to the taxpayers. Walker himself is the subject of a John Doe investigation because the guy is as corrupt as Huey Long. Just think of the waste Walker could eliminate if he would just move to Louisiana. I apologize, Louisiana.....that was a rotten thing to wish on you.
"If the next two years are anything like the last two, Wisconsin is going to continue moving forward".
Eeeeeyupppp, right into total anarchy and a final comeuppance on shameless, lying sack politicians.
Keith Best ----- don't let him near your kids or your brain! And keep him out of newspapers.....even rags like the Urinal.
Today's letter comes courtesy of Keith Best, Member of the Executive Board of the Republican Party of Waukesha County (everyone who is anyone hates Waukesha County).
Let me dissect his letter, line by line. My comments are in italics.
"Over the past few years, Wisconsin has undergone a complete makeover".
Sure has. From pristine, natural beauty to the ugly sister with a black, hairy mole on her soul.
"Despite reckless spending and other disastrous financial policy at the federal level, Wisconsin has seen its workforce go back to work".
Er, yes, but, they went back to work from high paying manufacturing jobs to minimum wage hotel door man jobs.
"Under the previous administration, our state lost 150,000 jobs".
We've lost that many and more jobs and new business ventures since Walker took office. Hell, Doyle's administration was a model of dignity and democracy compared to this roving band of one track minded zealots.
"The workforce was under trained and needing help".
Well, come on. It still is under trained and needing help. But how much training do you need to open a door or flip a burger or say hello to some freak of nature at Walmart?
"So Gov. Scott Walker has seen to it that our workers received the training and skills they need to fill jobs that are in demand."
You betcha. There's nothing like watching your family starve to death to motivate one to take any crap job in the world that pays $8 so you can be turned down at the food pantry, because you're employed.
"Also, through reductions in red tape and administrative costs, we have seen more money flood into the classroom."
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. I work in a school. There is no flood of money, but the bull$hit flooding out of Mr. Best's mouth is legendary. That's one thing you can always count on from a republican, to blatantly lie at every opportunity. Tell a lie enough and it becomes a truth......well, it will to another republican. Most of us are conscious of this ploy of the uncreative, by now.
"By eliminating waste, fraud and abuse, Walker has helped make reforms that have led to millions in savings for the taxpayers".
Walker's staffers, when he was Milwaukee County Executive, have gone to trial and been found guilty of various fraudulent activities. The economic development agency that Walker set up is under investigation for total mismanagement, and the loss of millions of dollars to the taxpayers. Walker himself is the subject of a John Doe investigation because the guy is as corrupt as Huey Long. Just think of the waste Walker could eliminate if he would just move to Louisiana. I apologize, Louisiana.....that was a rotten thing to wish on you.
"If the next two years are anything like the last two, Wisconsin is going to continue moving forward".
Eeeeeyupppp, right into total anarchy and a final comeuppance on shameless, lying sack politicians.
Keith Best ----- don't let him near your kids or your brain! And keep him out of newspapers.....even rags like the Urinal.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Diet and Exercise Programs
Yes, well, after strictly adhering to a diet and exercise program for 15 days now, I am unhappy to report that I gained four pounds.
So this is what I figured out about diet and exercise programs......they don't work unless you skip mixed drinks. Wine seems to be okay.
I had a couple of Captain and Cokes while watching the end of the Packer Season, and then a third one to console myself, and now I can barely button my favorite skirt. My tights are super-tights.
I have a choice here. Be a happy person with toned arms and legs and a protruding mid-section, while drinking as many cocktails as I want, or stick to a glass of wine with dinner and hope by summer I can fit into my swimsuit, since I plan to spend a month at the lake.
Just tell me this. At what age do women stop caring about their figures? I really want to get there. I hope to be an octogenarian who smokes man-like, strong cigarettes, drinks a lot of rum and vodka, drives really fast and eats lobster or steak five nights a week. The other two nights, I'll eat fast food at the casino, where I'll spend my dead husband's social security check. I will swear off doctors and just show up in emergency rooms where I will get Schedule I drugs because I can truly act crazy and pained, or make a doctor feel that way, depending on my mood. I will then abuse those prescriptions regularly.
This sounds good. Maybe I'll just start now.
No. I have a lot of really great clothes I'd like to wear this summer. I'll trade fashion for elderly shenanigans, at least for a little while. But I do make old age sound less horrendous, don't I? Stick with me grasshopper!
So this is what I figured out about diet and exercise programs......they don't work unless you skip mixed drinks. Wine seems to be okay.
I had a couple of Captain and Cokes while watching the end of the Packer Season, and then a third one to console myself, and now I can barely button my favorite skirt. My tights are super-tights.
I have a choice here. Be a happy person with toned arms and legs and a protruding mid-section, while drinking as many cocktails as I want, or stick to a glass of wine with dinner and hope by summer I can fit into my swimsuit, since I plan to spend a month at the lake.
Just tell me this. At what age do women stop caring about their figures? I really want to get there. I hope to be an octogenarian who smokes man-like, strong cigarettes, drinks a lot of rum and vodka, drives really fast and eats lobster or steak five nights a week. The other two nights, I'll eat fast food at the casino, where I'll spend my dead husband's social security check. I will swear off doctors and just show up in emergency rooms where I will get Schedule I drugs because I can truly act crazy and pained, or make a doctor feel that way, depending on my mood. I will then abuse those prescriptions regularly.
This sounds good. Maybe I'll just start now.
No. I have a lot of really great clothes I'd like to wear this summer. I'll trade fashion for elderly shenanigans, at least for a little while. But I do make old age sound less horrendous, don't I? Stick with me grasshopper!
Monday, January 14, 2013
My Dumb Neighbors
Ordinarily, I like my neighbors very much; we're all pretty liberal, we live in a very nice little enclave inside the city, we're culturally diverse and we take pride in our properties.
But here we are, two weeks into 2013, and these Wisconsin people have freakin' forgot that this is Wisconsin and it is winter.
Granted, 2012 was the warmest year on record for the State of Wisconsin and winter was just a little snow to be shoveled here and there. Then spring arrived followed by a hot, blistering summer with no rain - making us all believe winter would never come again.
It is January 2013. We had pretty mild temperatures (I'm talking high 30's, high 40's) for a few days. And then the weekend came. And it snowed and dripped ice. It's a$$-freezing cold outside, and everything is covered with a coat of bumpy, slippery ice.
SO BUY A BAG OF F*CKING SALT AND GET YOUR LAZY A$$ES OUTSIDE TO MELT SOME ICE OFF YOUR SIDEWALKS.
Some of us have dogs that don't give a $hit if there's an ice storm. Well, they do give a $hit, which is why we have to take them outside. Tara, the World Is My Toilet, dog likes to sniff out the best possible spot for a meaningful evacuation. This means, I have to walk her for awhile before the right smell stimulates her butt to action. This was really hard to do when the sidewalks were frozen over and too treacherous to walk on. Same with the grass, but it was a little better than the sidewalk if you were wearing ski boots. Okay, so I get it. It was Sunday morning, you wanted to sleep in, read the paper, drink hot coffee, surf porn sites, whatever, I get it.
But I tried to take my springer for another walk today, and you idiots still have done nothing. Well, not all of you. I live on a circle, so of the fourteen houses that encompass the circle, five people had done something about the ice (me being one of them). That means nine of you are waiting for spring, and I'm sick to death of your lazy cheap a$$es so get off them, buy some salt, and take care of your sidewalks. Next time I'm taking the walk with some spray paint. Even if I just write dumb lazy F*CK on your ice covered sidewalk, I'm sure you'll get the message.
But here we are, two weeks into 2013, and these Wisconsin people have freakin' forgot that this is Wisconsin and it is winter.
Granted, 2012 was the warmest year on record for the State of Wisconsin and winter was just a little snow to be shoveled here and there. Then spring arrived followed by a hot, blistering summer with no rain - making us all believe winter would never come again.
It is January 2013. We had pretty mild temperatures (I'm talking high 30's, high 40's) for a few days. And then the weekend came. And it snowed and dripped ice. It's a$$-freezing cold outside, and everything is covered with a coat of bumpy, slippery ice.
SO BUY A BAG OF F*CKING SALT AND GET YOUR LAZY A$$ES OUTSIDE TO MELT SOME ICE OFF YOUR SIDEWALKS.
Some of us have dogs that don't give a $hit if there's an ice storm. Well, they do give a $hit, which is why we have to take them outside. Tara, the World Is My Toilet, dog likes to sniff out the best possible spot for a meaningful evacuation. This means, I have to walk her for awhile before the right smell stimulates her butt to action. This was really hard to do when the sidewalks were frozen over and too treacherous to walk on. Same with the grass, but it was a little better than the sidewalk if you were wearing ski boots. Okay, so I get it. It was Sunday morning, you wanted to sleep in, read the paper, drink hot coffee, surf porn sites, whatever, I get it.
But I tried to take my springer for another walk today, and you idiots still have done nothing. Well, not all of you. I live on a circle, so of the fourteen houses that encompass the circle, five people had done something about the ice (me being one of them). That means nine of you are waiting for spring, and I'm sick to death of your lazy cheap a$$es so get off them, buy some salt, and take care of your sidewalks. Next time I'm taking the walk with some spray paint. Even if I just write dumb lazy F*CK on your ice covered sidewalk, I'm sure you'll get the message.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Alien Intervention Anyone?
Well, what this planet needs is a good plague, something to wipe out 78% of the population so that the ones left standing can either work out a viable plan or kill each other off rapidly. Killing each other off could be easily accomplished by clinging to antiquated notions like those currently in place and being voted on in the House of Representatives at this very moment.
Or how about alien intervention.
Really smart extra-terrestrials land here. With one look, they can heal you from anything that ails you. They can turn stagnant water fresh with a point of a magic alien stick. They can clean the air and the oceans. They can feed everyone a Tang-like super nutritious substance that will magically cure hunger and provide perfect nourishment. They can remove all violence from brains with a simple laser procedure (not necessarily on the brain). They can disassemble a monetary system and erect a Utopian community where everyone's talents are exposed, honed and shared. Everyone is satisfied.
Would you invite these space strangers in?
Of course you would not. You're a stupid human deemed to ride this rock to its death, like some poor old war horse. You're programmed to never be satisfied. To you, an equitable society sounds a lot like going to some fundamentalist church for three hours every Sunday and then being fed liver and shame.
But the aliens will be waiting for you, someday. Don't worry, though, you won't become legend in a cosmic cookbook featuring manwhiches. That has to be the equivalent of feeding a filthy pig to a Muslim in any advanced civilization.
Yep, it's Friday. I'm burned out. God created the world in seven days. I've created a black hole of depression for all of you. Your welcome and f*ck off.
Or how about alien intervention.
Really smart extra-terrestrials land here. With one look, they can heal you from anything that ails you. They can turn stagnant water fresh with a point of a magic alien stick. They can clean the air and the oceans. They can feed everyone a Tang-like super nutritious substance that will magically cure hunger and provide perfect nourishment. They can remove all violence from brains with a simple laser procedure (not necessarily on the brain). They can disassemble a monetary system and erect a Utopian community where everyone's talents are exposed, honed and shared. Everyone is satisfied.
Would you invite these space strangers in?
Of course you would not. You're a stupid human deemed to ride this rock to its death, like some poor old war horse. You're programmed to never be satisfied. To you, an equitable society sounds a lot like going to some fundamentalist church for three hours every Sunday and then being fed liver and shame.
But the aliens will be waiting for you, someday. Don't worry, though, you won't become legend in a cosmic cookbook featuring manwhiches. That has to be the equivalent of feeding a filthy pig to a Muslim in any advanced civilization.
Yep, it's Friday. I'm burned out. God created the world in seven days. I've created a black hole of depression for all of you. Your welcome and f*ck off.
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