I'm Moving to Louisiana

Okay, since I'm just ecstatic about moving to Louisiana and leaving the dismal, disheartening state of Wisconsin, I don't really want to write, I just want to drink a few shots of Tequila.  So, borrowing heavily from my great friend Jimi, who sent me the following aphorisms, here's my post for the day:

 

IT'S NOT WHETHER YOU WIN OR LOSE, BUT HOW YOU PLACE THE BLAME.

 

 

YOU ARE NOT DRUNK IF YOU CAN LIE ON THE FLOOR WITHOUT HOLDING ON.

 

 

REALITY IS ONLY AN ILLUSION THAT OCCURS

DUE TO A LACK OF ALCOHOL

 

 

WE ARE BORN NAKED, WET AND HUNGRY.

THEN THINGS GET WORSE.

 

 

ALABAMA STATE MOTTO:

AT LEAST WE'RE NOT MISSISSIPPI

 

 

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH

FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

 

 

A FOOL AND HIS MONEY

CAN THROW ONE HELL OF A PARTY

 

 

WHEN BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN,

DO THEY KNOW IT?

(sorry cousins)

 

FIVE DAYS A WEEK MY BODY IS A TEMPLE.

THE OTHER TWO, IT'S AN AMUSEMENT PARK

(I live for the weekend!)

 

LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES,

USE BIRTH CONTROL

 

MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING, BUT

IT SURE KEEPS THE KIDS IN TOUCH

 

I THINK CONGRESSMEN SHOULD WEAR UNIFORMS

YOU KNOW, LIKE NASCAR DRIVERS, SO WE COULD

IDENTIFY THEIR CORPORATE SPONSORS

 

 

THE REASON POLITICIANS TRY SO HARD TO GET RE-ELECTED

IS THAT THEY WOULD HATE TO HAVE TO MAKE A LIVING

UNDER THE LAWS THEY'VE PASSED.

 

Where's the salt shaker?  We better have limes.