Monday, May 26, 2014

Michelle Duggar an Honest to God Ho

I don't know much about the Duggar family, other than they have nineteen children, which seems excessive - even for Catholics.  I don't even know if they're Catholic, but there CERTAINLY must be some ridiculous religious aspect involved here.

What I don't get is why this family gets to have a television show and portray themselves as something special; simply by virtue of the fact that they have over-procreated.  Maybe they couldn't afford to feed all those whining brats any other way.  That would be the logical explanation.  Follow the thread --- I'm going to drop a litter or two of children I can't afford to feed, and then support myself off the radical right wing who thinks there is something virtuous in my overactive uterus, and who also thinks anyone is remotely interested in  this perfect example of a family gone insane via right to life values.

Nineteen children, and the mother is contemplating another pregnancy.  Where is the interest?  Other than from a purely psychological standpoint, there is nothing about Michelle Duggar that even approximates a sentient human being.  She's just overly hormonal.

I would think her vagina is so worn out, she'd have a hard time getting pregnant unless she inserted a gallon milk jug filled with sperm up there and jumped on a trampoline for awhile.

Whatever.  Give me a real reality television show --- like how billionaires and television executives get to steal money from people too stupid to read a book.

Monday, May 19, 2014


I'm really no longer at an age where pop culture holds any charm for me; that meaning I'd rather listen to Billie Holiday than Beyoncé.  In fact, (see previous post), Beyoncé holds absolutely no charm for me whatsoever, nor does her rich husband or her strange family.

So imagine my dismay when I found they were in New Orleans, eating at one of my favorite restaurants.  So glad I missed them.  Hopefully they'll be gone by the time I get there next week for my reservation.

Oh what AM I saying?  Jetsetters never stay in one place very long.  Collective, global sigh of relief.

I don't hate these people, I'm just sick to death of being exposed to every aspect of their lives.  This is what drives them, I suppose, the public airing of their fabulous existence, their riches and their mansions.  They get to feel superior and special and the masses get to support them by buying their wares - whatever those wares are.  I don't own a single Jay-Z or Beyoncé tune.  I don't feel I'm missing anything.  And I imagine many people actually find them utterly fascinating, but I'm not one of them, and I think they'd be surprised at just whom they do impress. 

It's probably a pretty unimpressive collection of people with mediocre musical tastes.

Of all the people in the world who do great things every day without ever experiencing a need to be adored or idolized, I sometimes completely wish that celebrities would just get over themselves and stay out of my town.

Friday, May 16, 2014


Excuse me, but why, and I say this with all humility, honesty and curiosity, but why does anyone give a f*ck why Solange Knowles attacked Jay-Z in an elevator?

Why is this news?  Are we all so desperately boring, bored or brain dead that we actually wonder about this stuff?

Who gives a f*ck.  Oops.  Getting repetitive.  Like my television news program.

But really.....who gives a f*ck why:

1.  A spoiled power pair of celebrities consciously uncouples.  Why don't they unconsciously drop f*cking dead?  Do they honestly believe by labeling it in emotionally-correct new term, they are somehow more special than any other couple deciding they've seen enough of each other's souls to last them through eternity and the faster the divorce papers are filed, the f*cking better?

2.  A billionaire power couple's relative swats and kicks at him in an elevator.  So what.  They should have been at a few family picnics I've attended in my life.  This is normal behavior for a lot of families, even families who own their own formal wear.  What's all the speculation and why does anyone care? 

Americans have an unnatural obsession with power, money and celebrity.  It's redundant.  I don't want the fabulous life that gets one of my family members swinging at me in an elevator so I become grist for the "got no life" mill.

I don't want to decide who gets the London townhouse and who gets the "cottage" in the Hamptons.

I don't want to read about these people, be bombarded with their fabulous air brushed images or be exposed to their neurotic behaviors, ridiculous stretches of the English language, hear about their fabulous lifestyles and the money they spend on jewelry.  These people are no happier than anyone else, and we only find them interesting because they have so much money.....for all the good it does them.

In short, Americans need to find something worthwhile to be concerned with; like air quality, global warming, poverty, clean water, anything.  They need to come to some meaningful realization;  anything but Beyoncé, Jay-Z and Solange in an elevator and a videotape that immortalizes that which should just be so much bull$hit in an otherwise dull day.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Climate Change

I moved out of Wisconsin because it has a horrible climate at least 60% of the time.  I effected my own climate change by moving to Louisiana, and I do not regret this change in latitude.  I would insert all of the southern jokes here, but for the most part, I find the people extraordinarily friendly and polite, unlike Wisconsinites who are frozen in frigid and don't ever thaw out.  The politics are atrocious but they are in Wisconsin, as well.

But the really awful thing is that actual climate change is occurring at such an accelerated rate, and 1 in 4 Americans don't believe it's true.  I guess one in four is good odds at the craps table, but one in four stupid people in America is almost more than I can fathom --- and I can fathom a $hitload of Stupid.

One in four Americans don't believe in climate change or global warming, despite alarming evidence to the contrary.

Now someone please tell me how we can have such incredibly ignorant people here and be the leader of the free world.  It's a scam, I tell you.  Americans have been repeating that mantra --- leader of the free world -- for so long, we actually believe it ourselves and have the rest of the world believing it.

It's a scam.  America SUCKS.  Get the word out.