Thursday, May 30, 2013

I'm Moving to Louisiana

Okay, since I'm just ecstatic about moving to Louisiana and leaving the dismal, disheartening state of Wisconsin, I don't really want to write, I just want to drink a few shots of Tequila.  So, borrowing heavily from my great friend Jimi, who sent me the following aphorisms, here's my post for the day:

 
IT'S NOT WHETHER YOU WIN OR LOSE, BUT HOW YOU PLACE THE BLAME.
 
 
YOU ARE NOT DRUNK IF YOU CAN LIE ON THE FLOOR WITHOUT HOLDING ON.
 
 
REALITY IS ONLY AN ILLUSION THAT OCCURS
DUE TO A LACK OF ALCOHOL
 
 
WE ARE BORN NAKED, WET AND HUNGRY.
THEN THINGS GET WORSE.
 
 
ALABAMA STATE MOTTO:
AT LEAST WE'RE NOT MISSISSIPPI
 
 
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH
FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.
 
 
A FOOL AND HIS MONEY
CAN THROW ONE HELL OF A PARTY
 
 
WHEN BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN,
DO THEY KNOW IT?
(sorry cousins)
 
FIVE DAYS A WEEK MY BODY IS A TEMPLE.
THE OTHER TWO, IT'S AN AMUSEMENT PARK
(I live for the weekend!)
 
LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES,
USE BIRTH CONTROL
 
MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING, BUT
IT SURE KEEPS THE KIDS IN TOUCH
 
I THINK CONGRESSMEN SHOULD WEAR UNIFORMS
YOU KNOW, LIKE NASCAR DRIVERS, SO WE COULD
IDENTIFY THEIR CORPORATE SPONSORS
 
 
THE REASON POLITICIANS TRY SO HARD TO GET RE-ELECTED
IS THAT THEY WOULD HATE TO HAVE TO MAKE A LIVING
UNDER THE LAWS THEY'VE PASSED.
 
Where's the salt shaker?  We better have limes.
 

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The Crazy Mean Streets of Wauwatosa!

My husband just came home and told me he watched two young boys steal a car, as the owner stood on the sidewalk right next to his automobile, talking to someone.

Lessons to be learned:

Don't leave the keys in your car, don't leave your car running and don't think it's okay to do these things in a squeaky clean suburb like Wauwatosa.  No matter how big you build your castle, you are insulated from nothing.  Safety is a perception, and an unreliable one, at that.

As the policies of our society force more people into desperation, society must be prepared to accept the criminal consequences of apathetic and uncompassionate legislation. 

This is the second time this week my husband has dialed 9-1-1 for someone.   Earlier in the week, a woman at the liquor store he frequents ran out with a couple of 40's tucked under her arm.  The clerk grabbed her purse  when she was just one inch from a clean getaway and yanked it back into the store.  Then came the face down - shoplifter screaming through the glass how she's going to "f*ck you up bad you don't gimme dat purse".  Clerk behind the locked door, holding the purse and his cell phone up.  This, also, happened in Wauwatosa.

Is our society completely insane?  Hard to tell.

But it's easy to remember that it is no measure of mental health to be well-adjusted to a society that is profoundly sick.





Sunday, May 26, 2013

Leaving Nazi Milwaukee

I am going to really vent about the freakin' airport in Milwaukee.  I went to pick up my husband and pulled over to the curb at baggage claim.  I had a stinkin' sheriff's deputy on my a$$ within 10 seconds, lights flashing and giving me the "look".

My husband was literally walking over to the car so I turned around and gave the deputy my own personal look which I hope translated as "f*ck off you a$$hole".  I then popped the trunk on my car to block the emergency lights, which were getting annoying and to more or less let this particular deputy know he could stick his lights and his f*cked up attitude where the colonoscopy shines.

I know that the deputies have to prevent people from parking for extended periods of time in the baggage claim area, but this was just utter harassment from an overzealous brownshirt, and really makes a statement of how much Sheriff Clarke has turned what should be a highway/jailing/process serving office into a police state.  I don't f*cking need to be harassed by someone whose f*cking salary I'm paying.  If I had been there 10 minutes, I would get it, and drive over to the cell phone lot, but I hadn't even put my car into park before this $hithead was on me.

Sheriff Clarke has radicalized his department deputies to think they are some kind of paramilitary organization and that harassment of citizens at the airport is "okay".  Clarke is an idiot - we all know that - and he causes a lot of difficulty for a lot of different people because, as my husband says, he acts like someone with an advanced, brain damaging case of syphilis.  Whatever, the country should really take note, because Sheriff Clarke, in his right wing, overstepping way has mobilized his law enforcement unit into a bunch of bullies.  If all law enforcement agencies acted like the Milwaukee Sheriff's Department, we'd have plenty to fear, believe me.  I understand Sheriff Clarke demands his underlings to salute their superiors.  I've got my one finger salute for you, Clarke.  Here's to ya!

Saturday, May 25, 2013

How Doomed are we as a Society?

Scott Walker is testing the presidential run political waters. 

Now if that doesn't terrify thinking people everywhere, there is no hope for we Americans.

Scott Walker is a completely vacuous individual, without one sustainable good idea ever entering his bald little head.  He is a puppet whose strings are pulled by the 1% of our population who would return the United States back to slave labor and robber baron mentality.

One doesn't have to search very hard to verify the fact that Scott Walker is a menace to America.

Mr. Walker constantly attacks and undermines the City of Milwaukee; politically maneuvering himself to destroy the very base of this state.  Why would a governor go after the biggest city in his land?  Largely, because Milwaukee's voting base is democratic.  Still, you can't help but wonder why a person with such delusions of grandeur (thinking he's presidential material) would be so insensitive to the problems of the state's largest city.  Milwaukee is on track to become the next Detroit, largely because of Scott Walker.

Just what this country needs - another Detroit.

How did we let horse asses like Scott Walker rise to positions of authority?  How did we lose so many IQ points in two gubernatorial elections? 

Well, hopefully for me, it's a moot point because I'm leaving this political nightmare at the first opportunity.  Scott Walker doesn't need encouragement to further his political aspirations.  He needs an anti-psychotic medication to bring him back to reality. 

Scott Walker's only accomplishment has been to prove he's easily manipulated by money and the promise of power.  He is completely blind to real life, and we're all along for the nightmare ride he's designed for the working class, with a little help from his friends. 

Monday, May 20, 2013

Advertisements

I sat down yesterday morning to do my favorite Sunday thing; read the local rag, which takes about five minutes, and then thoroughly enjoy the New York Times, which takes all day.

In the Time's Sunday Magazine, there are always ads for special things (obviously intended for special, i.e., wealthy people).  $9,000 bathtubs.  $1000 shoes.  $25000 necklaces.  I pretty much skip through these ads, knowing I'm definitely not the intended market target. 

But one ad in particular drove me a little nuts yesterday.  It was for an apartment overlooking Central Park, priced at around $5,000,000.  It showed an all white family, mom, dad, boy, girl, (all blond, of course) sitting in their lovely, albeit antiseptically white, surroundings.  Boy was in a suit.  Girl was in prep school outfit, complete with white knee highs, velvet headband and patent leather shoes. 

First of all, you dress an 8 year old in a suit and if you're taking him anywhere (except maybe a funeral), he's going to get his nose punched for being a pretty boy.  The girl is just a heroin addict waiting to happen, in my opinion, but I'm a cynic.  Dad probably sees some downtown model and pays rent on her place, too.  Mom shoplifts because buying things you don't need is too boring.  More fun to steal them.  Those kicks just keep getting harder to find!

Now, let's just be realistic for a minute.  There are no ads for subsidized housing apartments in this publication.  No picture of a kitchen table piled with empty beer cans, a gun and a couple of crumpled baggies of crack.  No blunt burning in the ashtray.  No happy family waiting around the mailbox for a food stamp debit card.  No barred windows proclaiming building security.  Reality, as we all know, just does not sell here in the United States of America, Inc.

I suppose what makes me unhappy is the thought that the blond family is typical of the people who have completely taken over New York City.  Invasion of the trust funders, day traders and Wall Street hustlers.  Although I do love New York and all the energy that flows through it, the people who actually can afford to live there is a sad commentary on how WHITE BREAD our society has become.  Yes, I am aware that people of color can also have a lot of money and afford to live in New York.  More power to them.  It takes some kind of savvy to beat the white man at his own thievery!   But they are definitely in the minority, once again.  All they've done, really, is confuse the door men.

I digress.  If I had $5,000,000 to spend on an apartment in New York City, overlooking Central Park, I just could not bring myself to have the blond family as my neighbors.  Ugh.  Give me a good old 'hood any day of the week.








Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Hanging Heads

Never, in the history of United States politics, has such a large group of well-connected Washingtonian insiders gone after a president the way some of these thugs are going after Barack Obama.

Despite our best intentions, the United States remains a racist, hater society.  Its very sad to live here amid all this ignorance and evil.

Where's the love? 

Friday, May 10, 2013

Simple Statistics

Attacks on U.S. Embassies under George Dubya Bush  = 10

Deaths resulting from attacks on U.S. Embassies under George Dubya Bush = 60

Republican Outrage about the attacks and deaths under George Dubya Bush = 0

Obviously George Dubya Bush is not only a hopelessly asinine idiot, he's also attained some unholy god-like status, at least to other hopelessly asinine idiots.

Go Barack Obama.  Up next, Hilary Clinton - and don't these blockhead republicans know it and are setting the stage to cripple her campaign, as I write.

There are times when I'm actually relieved there are so many morons in the United States.  When you put them all together, it spells republican party.  That's one party we're happy to skip!  Not that we'd be invited.  How does a republican throw a party?  By opening his mouth.

And speaking of republican asinine idiots, Paul Ryan has stuck his foot in his mouth by referring to children born to immigrants as "anchor babies".   Where's the love, Ryan?  You consistently campaign for the pre-born, yet babies who aren't born pale white to pale white American citizens are anchors?  To what?  Fast road to citizenship?  Slow road to deportation?    A life of underemployment?  A struggle to make minimum wage. 

I like to be in America!
Okay by me in America!
Everything free in America!
For a small fee in America!

Like your life.











Thursday, May 9, 2013

Social Security Checks Coming in My Future!

I recently applied for social security; and received my benefits statement in the mail today. 

I was somewhat disgusted that my first check won't arrive until about two months past my sixty-second birthday.....I have big plans for blowing that first check on a shopping spree in New York.  Alas, it won't be in August, but probably October.  I'll have to make sure my friend in the big city will put me up for a few days then.  Can't waste valuable shopping money on a hotel room.  I'm sure she'll be fine with it, and New York is lovely in Autumn.  I plan to buy all the summer clothing I can put my hands on, as by autumn, I'm hopeful our plans to move to Louisiana or Mississippi will actually materialize.  Short of Gary, Indiana or Fargo, North Dakota, I can't think of a more stinking place to live than Milwaukee.

It was a little disconcerting to see how much money my monthly social security check will actually be.  Thank God I don't have to live on it, and I have another pension check coming in.  Otherwise, I'd be looking at low income elderly housing instead of browsing real estate listings in the deep south.  Did I mention my husband is a doctor.  That helps, too!

Regardless, after thirty plus years in the workforce, I wouldn't exactly say my social life could be considered secure at the rate they're going to pay me.  But I won't be eating dog food, either.

I am very happy I'm collecting this benefit at the first available moment.  I don't trust the republicans to leave social security intact; but it will be much harder for them to come after my money if I'm already collecting the benefit.  I also don't trust the local yokels here in Milwaukee to not tamper with my pension here, either.  It's a sad day when the country you live in is viewed to be totally corrupt and out to f*ck over its citizenry.

What happened to America?  Where did it go? 

Down with the Ruling Class!
Throw the bastards out on their ASS!

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Great Quotes




IF YOU WANT TO LIVE LIKE A REPUBLICAN, YOU BETTER VOTE DEMOCRATIC.......Harry S. Truman

Monday, May 6, 2013

The Gospel of America According to the Republicans

Well, America is nothing less than a Holy Trinity to Republicans.

They revere, adore and worship just three things:

1.  Wealth

2.  Guns

3.  The pre-born.

What a country.  This can only work if all fetuses are actually born.  Then they must be born rich, tiny little trust fund wonders!  I wonder how much evolution will have to unfold before all those full term fetuses are born armed with a tiny little Colt 45 clutched in their dominant hand. They can shoot off any would-be intruder's hand while in-vitro.

God so obviously does not bless a Republican America.  Personally, I feel a great disturbance in the force.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

The Talentless Scott Walker Saga Continues

If I had to find a positive about living in Wisconsin, it is that Wisconsin provides an almost limitless stream of political ineptness unmatched anywhere else in the United States, from which I can mine great blog material.

Scott Walker.  He is the epitome of republican ideology; and his radical ideas have truly changed the state, but not for the better.  I don't know why this moron thought his ideas for a new world could be implemented anywhere, but he did.  Here is one result:

Let's just narrow it down to the abolishment of Wisconsin's Commerce Department, and the start up of Scott Walker's brain child "Wisconsin Economic Development Corporation", a semi-private agency that was supposed to bring 250,000 jobs to the state, provide training, and do all kinds of wonderful things for all citizens here in Walkerland.

The agency was royally lambasted in a recent audit by the non-partisan Legislative Audit Bureau.  Here are some of the ridiculously inept mismanagement highlights:

WEDC did not require financial statements from companies receiving incentives.  They gave monetary awards to ineligible businesses and ineligible projects.  They awarded nearly $1,000,000 in tax credits to companies for actions taken before those companies had signed their contracts with the state.  There was no follow up by WEDC to see if jobs were created and they never clearly reported  job numbers they were able to obtain. 

WEDC staff used agency credit cards to buy inappropriate items, including alcohol, football tickets and travel expenses for WEDC agency families. 

WEDC had no policies in place for tricky questions, such as when to forgive loans that weren't repaid.  They made new loans to businesses that hadn't paid back a prior loan. 

WEDC lacked invoices or other contractually required documents which would have shown authorized costs for seven of twenty-nine grant and loan awards reviewed.  Recipients of at least $100,000 had not submitted the required financial statements, despite the fact they spent all the funds awarded to them.

One recipient of WEDC funds wasn't paying some of its employees the required wage.

Expected results were never established for ten of WEDC's thirty programs.

A November 2012 report from WEDC contained inaccurate information and did not honestly present the number of jobs created or retrained as a result of WEDC programs.  Auditors were unable to determine or assess the effectiveness of WEDC programs in light of WEDC's inability to properly manage its programs or its financial reporting.

Face it folks, Scott Walker's idea was a bomb; and it appears that all kinds of millions are out there unaccounted for.  I'll wager a bet that WEDC was set up as nothing more than a dummy corporation to line the pockets of Scott Walker's cronies.  This is taxpayer money, and I am experiencing taxpayer outrage. 

Let's get rid of Scott Walker in the next election; because we simply can't afford to have the wolf minding the hen house one day longer!

Excuse me now.  I have to fill out my one paragraph application for a WEDC $1,000,000 grant to continue to write my blog.  I figure, it'll be no problem at all!  I'm gonna be rich!  Thanks Wisconsin Taxpayers!  I'm perfectly within the law.  I hired my cat to lay on my feet while I write, training him not to move (by keeping my foot on his tail) thereby keeping me chill-free through an ugly Wisconsin spring.  I pay him $75 per hour for this service.  I'm the perfect candidate for WEDC funds, don'cha think?






Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Schizophrenic Wisconsin

Last week Wednesday, I was driving home in an ice pellet storm and the temp was about 34 degrees.  Today, my magnolia bloomed in full, my garden is already full of flowers (and weeds) and I'm writing this post stripped down to underpinnings because it's hot in my bedroom.

Well, at least we're finally in the five months of Wisconsin weather than I can actually tolerate.

Of course, the next few days will be in the forties and rainy.  As much as I might lament the ever changing weather here, rain and cool will preserve the magnolia blossoms and toughen up the delicate plants that are just starting to poke their heads thought the soil.

I'm going to go get all my hair cut off as I can't stand myself right now almost as much as I can't stand living in Wisconsin.  Maybe, with a new hair style, I'll feel inspired.  Then again, maybe I'll hate it and shave my head, starting from scratch, once again.  Frankly, I can't even imagine what my hair actually looks like without all the manipulation from my stylist.  Maybe it's time to find out.  I'd do it, too, but I think my head might be misshapen.  All that banging it against the wall, you know?

Anyway....here I am in schizophrenic Wisconsin where the Governor's new agency for the creation of jobs has fallen under scrutiny for absolute malfeasance.  What else can we expect from this yokel and his band of misfits. 

Ah Wisconsin!  Bring on the mosquitoes, the never ending roar of Harleys and the OWI's.  It's almost summer!