Tuesday, November 30, 2010

That Whooshing Noise

Lately, I just feel like I'm going around and around in circles and I keep hearing a whooshing noise. Sort of like I'm being flushed, along with every other American citizen.

We're all being flushed down the toilet of American politics. It's so very disheartening, but I guess it's inevitable, since this country is disintegrating rapidly. There will be more emergency sessions to fix the problems; more election turmoils and more finger pointing and ass kissing, surely. But the fact is, the United States of America can't hold on....not in it's current, or any of it's past states.

Not that long ago, Sarah Palin was a vice presidential political appointee who quickly opened her mouth and proved herself to be little more than a right-wing hack whom no one could possibly take seriously because she was so obviously the antithesis of intelligence. I believe she single-handedly lost the election for John McCain, thank God, by the by.

But all of a sudden, Sarah Palin is more popular than Thanksgiving turkey. She has a reality show that everyone tunes into, and somehow has managed to spin her natural, outdoorsy and down-home, folksy self into a nationwide belief that this has EVERYTHING to do with governing a nation. I catch fish in my lake, I hike in the Wisconsin north woods, I enjoy swimming in the ocean and I wear plaid shirts. However, I'm firmly of the opinion that this does not qualify me as a candidate for potential leader of the free world. Sarah Palin had her five minutes of fame, and now she's determined to turn that brief encounter into a career. She's one-dimensional and egomaniacal. She would have to be an egomaniac to believe she has anything serious going on upstairs.

Please, someone explain to me when and how Sarah Palin stopped being a political joke and people started taking her, and her lofty ambitions to the oval office, seriously. Whoosh, I hear that sound. Maybe the toilet I keep hearing flush is actually the American citizenry's sanity making a run for the border.

And George Dubya Bush writing a book that's become a bestseller? Jesus Christ, Mary and Joseph, a book titled "Decision Points". The only decision George Bush ever made that could be considered reasonable was his choice to start drinking alcohol again. At least he could live with himself and the financial destruction he brought to this nation with that one. George Bush didn't make any decisions during his presidency. Karl Rove made all the decisions for George Bush. Why doesn't anyone know this anymore? How do these hacks continually reinvent themselves and how does a nation of supposedly intelligent and industrious people buy this BULLSHIT????? And it is BULLSHIT!!!!! Someone send Bush a case of Glenfiddich so he can go back to doing what he does best.

I watched John McCain on television this morning attempting to resurrect the cold war between Russia and the United States. Does McCain not get that the Soviet Union failed (much the same way America will)? Apparently he does not. Mr. McCain, being a Republican, wants to take things backward, as do all Republicans. Backward means they can use those same tired tricks to stump the American public into thinking the GOP has their best interests at heart. Republicans are fundamentally unable to look forward, everything must revert to the past for them. That's where they're comfortable. That's where all rich old white men are comfortable. I seriously am thinking of starting a campaign to get rid of the rich old white men who rule this land. I'll call it:

"If You Love America, Please Do Your Part. Kill Yourself".

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

I wish all of my readers a very happy Thanksgiving.

Take a moment to remember, today, all of the many blessings in your life and all of the reasons you have to be thankful. And just to keep you honest, try to remember all of the things you've done in your life that have made people less than thankful you're around.....and correct those things in the future!

Work like a dog.

Eat like a pig.

Watch football until your eyes pop out and then sleep like a log.

Gobble Gobble.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Holidays --- Sometimes Not All They're Cracked Up to Be

I was reading Philip Chard's article in the Milwaukee Journal, Out of My Mind, and was happy to see an assessment of family situations. Depending on what kind of family you grew up in, that experience pretty much defines you. There are, thankfully in my case, exceptions.

Chard speaks about healthy and unhealthy families. He goes on to say:
"Healthy families demonstrate an attribute called 'beneficial cohesiveness'. From an interpersonal standpoint, people in such families stick together in a good way. Cohesive families demonstrate largely harmonious interactions, and when they do have conficts, they are addressed openly and respectfully. Family members exhibit emotional warmth, empathy and caring. Finally, a healthy family is a flexible one; in other words, it is not like boot camp."

I have very little experience with this kind of family, except as an outside observer.

What does Chard say about dysfunctional families?

Unhealthy families come in two variations, enmeshed or disengaged.

In an enmeshed family, relationships with parents and siblings were characterized by considerable hostility, lots of meddling in each other's affairs, and 'harmful cohesiveness' -- meaning they stuck together in a damaging way. While these families sometimes share affection, it is usually short-lived and often abruptly replaced by anger and accusations.

I experience my family as emotionally dangerous and unpredictable. I've learned to keep my head down and avoid interacting because of the negative behaviors associated with all of the relationships between my siblings.

Chard goes on to say that the other kind of unhealthy family (disengaged) is "typified by relationships that are emotionally cold, controlling and distant. It tends to crank out children who are angry, aggressive, alienated and basically who feel unloved."

No matter what kind of family you came from, you are part of that psychological inheritance.

This Thanksgiving I will sit at the table and give thanks for the family I married into and the children and grandchildren I was blessed with.

I will offer a prayer for the family I came from that they will someday know peace and harmony in their lives on a daily basis.

I am so very thankful that I chose not to be a part of the misery my family embodies any longer, and I wish I could tell my siblings how to rearrange their thought processes and leave that wretched childhood experience in the past. But it's one of those things we have to figure out for ourselves, and I pray they do.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Nothing to Say???

Well, Scott Walker hasn't bleated in a few days.

I guess he got off on the wrong foot, with his outrageous demands for a halt to Wisconsin government, and his adamantly stupid rants about stopping the high speed rail.

Now all that special interest money behind him can't really afford for him to show himself as the horse's behind that he is.....at least so soon. So, they must have admonished him to shut up until they could find something intelligent for him to say. That's going to take awhile, and no matter what they come up with, Walker won't look or sound intelligent saying it.

Come on Walker. Say something. We all are dying for your shrunken head to speak.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

They Call Bad Doctors "Quacks" Don't They?

I am always interested in the origin of words in the English Language. But it's Sunday morning, and I don't feel like doing any research. So, I'm going to make up my own story about how the word "Quack" came to describe lousy doctors.

In 1743, a German physician, Herr Docktor Adolph Hopsinger, paid a hut call to Peter Von Bunberger's residence because all of Peter's children were sick. Herr Docktor was somewhat of a tippler, and he arrived at 2 in the afternoon, somewhat drunk. Von Bunberger's children had tonsillitis, scurvy, ear aches and scabies. Herr Docktor thought he'd give them all a tonic he'd bought in Munich that promised to cure everything, because Herr Docktor was incapable, on his own, of curing anything. Beside that, he was drunk enough so that he just wanted a quick fix so he could go home and take a nap.....maybe have a nice piece of struedel his fat wife was baking.

Unfortunately, when Herr Docktor retrieved the tonic from his bag, he failed to notice it was the wrong bottle. He administered several tablespoons of horse liniment to the children, by mouth, who promptly died. Peter Von Bunberger was upset and refused to pay Herr Docktor, but Herr Docktor was bigger and roundly clocked him in the chin. Von Bunberger went out to get a shovel to bury his children, and returned with an eider down duck as payment. Herr Docktor promptly shoved the duck inside his capote, and left the house, but not before Von Bunberger smacked him on the back of his head with the shovel, causing him to fall forward, striking his head on a large rock. The eider down duck somewhat broke his fall, but Herr Docktor's head was pretty soft from all that imbibery, and he promptly died. When Herr Docktor landed on top of the duck on his way to his death, the duck let out a resounding and annoyed "Quack" at the top of his little duck lungs before running back to the safety of the barn. The name stuck and the rest is history. Well, fractured history, but I like it.

So why don't we have a name for bad politicians, like Scott Walker? I hereby institute one.

Let's see, animal sounds seems to be the flavor du jour. Pigs oink. Horses whinney. Mules bay. Bullfrogs croak. Fish flop. Elephants bellow. Lions Roar. Crickets scrape. Cat's meow. Dogs bark. Birds tweet and monkeys screech.

We have a donkey representing republicans and an elephant representing republicans. For political hacks, like Scott Walker, I hereby designate the goat as their symbol. Goats bleat, talking a lot and saying very little. They have those very strong horns to protect their soft little heads. They are followers, not leaders.

Anytime Scott Walker opens his mouth, it'll be a bleat, followed by a horned head butt, sort of like cats do when they want your attention. It fits. I like it. It is somewhat of a dishonor to goats, whom I like very much, but to actually pick an animal that fits how incompetent Scott Walker is, well, it would have to be an amoeba, and I don't know if they make a noise.

So please, bleat away Walker Baby. Then butt your head, and continue to follow the small misguided minority of rich folks who actually run this rapidly failing heap of a country. I'm anxiously waiting for all the fodder you will provide for this blog.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Emperor Walker

Okay, so not only is the governor-elect a completely undereducated, incompetent political administrator, he is also a megalomaniac.

Mr. Walker is asking Governor (STILL GOVERNOR) Jim Doyle to put a hold on state government until he can take office. Hello. On what grounds does Emperor Walker stand ..... the hallowed ground of the misintended? Emperor Walker is not interested in governing the State of Wisconsin, he is only interested in promoting the agenda of the Republican Party, that is to say, the Party of Status Quo. No progress. No growth. No vision. Keep the rich rich, make more poor people so the rich can stay rich.

Wisconsin is on a bad road......heading for the same type of gung-ho, empty-headed politics as the State of Texas. Texas.....it gave us such wondrous people as George Dubya Bush. No one has to remember back too far what a fool George Dubya Bush was, as Governor of Texas (where they executed mentally retarded individuals) and as President, where his decision to invade Iraq cost (and is still costing) trillions of dollars and thousands of lives.

So send a message to Emperor Walker. You'll get your chance to f*ck everything up soon enough, no need to start early. The damage you are capable of will surely become evident in the next four years. It's evident already. Please let a sensible governor finish his term before you take over Madison and infuriate every thoughtful citizen of this once great state.

Surely there is more damage you can do in Milwaukee County. Your thirst for power is mind-boggling. You are a camel whose been in the desert of local politics for far too long. Your itching to get to that watering hole and prove to your party that you are the right man to f*ck up the works.

You certainly are....no argument from me there.

Emperor Walker is coming. And he's hungry!!!!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Halloween Candy is my Nemesis

I've just eaten another handful of candy corn, one of my favorites. I've crunched Kit Kats, devoured Three Musketeers, snarfed Snickers, put away Peanut Butter Cups like they were a cure for everything, chomped Twizzlers and basically, have become the most hallowed and huge halloween candy pig of leftovers.

I wish I could stop. Someone needs to remove this candy from my house, immediately. I've lived on nothing but candy for a couple of days now. Oh, I pretend I'm hungry when my husband serves me supper, but I'm so full of sugar and chocolate, I secretly feed the dog under the table anything healthy, and head to the secret stash as soon as my husband is not looking.

It's a terrible life, the life of a candy addict. We have no dignity, we will snatch candy from baby's hands. We will consume our weight in red licorice. We will lie to get candy and we will lie about how much candy we actually get. We will try and quit cold turkey constantly, but we will always find a gas station or candy store ready to serve our desires.

Sometimes I dream about candy. Flowers are romantic, but give me a bag of penny candy and I will fulfill your wildest fantasy. That little brown bag holding all those unknown treasures is more than I can handle. I love Belgian chocolate and I love Red Hot Atomic Fireballs. I am no candy connosiur, any candy will do, although gummy candy tends to be at the bottom of my list. Still, I'll eat it.

In the Food Pyramid, Candy is at the top for me. Candy Candy Candy. Can't get enough. I need sugar rehab.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

What's So Bad About Scott Walker?

First of all, what's so bad about wanting to transport large numbers of people efficiently and with little impact on air quality and the environment?

Nothing, right? A group of people riding a high speed train are leaving a carbon footprint far smaller than one person riding in a car between Point A and Point B.

So what's so bad about this? What is it that Scott Walker can't mentally grasp about high speed rail?

Oh, yes, the maintenance costs (which would employ people). This is a lie. Scott Walker could give a rat's ass about maintenance costs; Mr. Walker has to keep his large campaign donors happy. Scott Walker isn't smart enough to do the math about maintenance costs; if he was, he'd know they are irrelevant and not even a factor in the benefits of high speed rail.

Face it, Scott Walker is beholden to road builders and car manufacturers and dealers, who by the virtue of their businesses, do not want to bring the United States into the future with the use of alternative transportation methods.

What is so bad about Scott Walker, and people like him is that they FAIL, on every conceivable level, to get the fact that we are running out of oil. We are choking off the sustainability of Planet Earth with our continued burning of fossil fuels and by ignoring greenhouse gas emissions and the dangers associated with them. In short, we are destroying the land we live in so a few people can get rich.....Scott Walker's buddies.

I guess these people will finally get it when all is lost.....and probably not a second before. Even then, I'm sure their denial will be rampant as it is every time they are exposed as the butt-hole mental giants they are.

The United States of America is paralyzed because of politicians like Scott Walker; supposed conservatives, but who just really are all about maintaining the status quo. The status quo is killing us, and so is Scott Walker. This is what's so bad. Scott Walker is a killer.....of new ideas, of progress, and of intelligent life.

It would be interesting to put Scott Walker in an MRI and follow an idea in the thought processes of his brain. Of course, who has that kind of time; to sit and wait for an original idea to show up in Scott Walker's head? I'm sure his body would attack it immediately as a foreign entity, which it is.

Puppet Boy, Pawn of Big Bucks and Mouthpiece of the Rich and Ridiculous, that is Scott Walker. And that's what's so bad about him.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

A Train Wreck Named Scott Walker

Here we go, Wisconsinites. High speed rail is derailed The first act of idiocy by your idiot-elect:

"I don't see anything that would change my mind...." Scott Walker, speaking on the future of the high speed rail project between Milwaukee and Madison.

Mr. Walker's mind is firmly opposed and his pockets generously enriched by road builder and car manufacturer campaign contributions. This guy bought the election with a bunch of promises to rich old white men, whose time needs to be over if the United States expects to survive.

Walker is going to "ask" Congress to let Wisconsin keep the $810 million designated for the high speed rail project and use if for roads. If that doesn't give you a shining example of how clueless this moron is, I don't know what will.

None of the money provided to Wisconsin may be used for road or highway projects, or anything other than high-speed rail.

The high speed rail project was predicted to employ 4,732 people at its peak in 2012. So much for Idiot-Elect Walker and his promise to create jobs. The only thing Walker will create is a depressed state economy, an idle workforce, and hopefully many memorable lapses of intelligence, which I will continue to report here.

Always looking for a little bright side, and some small Erlaichda, this stupid son of a b*tch, Scott Walker, at least will be out of Milwaukee County politics soon.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Chicago and the Widening Gap Between Rich and Poor

My husband and I get out of Milwaukee as frequently as we can. We usually go to Chicago, which is a real city with a palpable vibrancy and a true identity. Alas, Milwaukee falls short on so many levels, by comparison, we don't even consider it a "real" city and we rarely spend any time or money going out on the town here. That's not to say Milwaukee doesn't have cultural offerings, it does, they are just so very limited.

This past weekend was no different; Chicago delivered on every level. Theatre was great, shopping was great, eating was beyond great. To get anywhere, we hopped on a subway. We walked for miles. In short, we had a terrific experience, as we always do in Chicago.

One of our walks took us down Oak Street, right off the Magnificent Mile. This is the street where all the high end of the high end stores are. Prada. Hermes, Chanel. I suppose it would be nice to have so much money, buying a silk scarf at Hermes that would cost you close to $1,000 would be no big deal. (I do, however, fail to see the importance of a $1,000 scarf.) Or a pair of shoes at Chanel for $895. Unless those shoes can miraculously turn you into a great dancer, I just don't get it. But there is the status thing. I assume people buy these things to show that they are different than the people who don't buy those things.

Not really. I bought a new handbag at Macy's. I'm sure someone bought the new $4,000 clutch at Chanel this weekend, too. Now, I love my handbag, which was really inexpensive compared to the handbag at Chanel. It doesn't particularly make me feel different, but it does hold all my stuff quite nicely. I asked myself how I would have felt if I had bought the large handbag at Chanel, which was so outrageously expensive it should have doubled as a studio apartment. The answer was, I'd feel sick to my stomach. Even if I could have afforded it.

There just isn't anything you can buy in a store that is worth the inflated price people pay for it. And high end, designer stores are probably one of the biggest scams perpetuated against a rich and unsuspecting public. I'm sure people go into these stores because they get the "exclusive" feel that makes them feel special and the store, by its very design, keeps out the riff raff. (Not true, I was in there this weekend.) I'm afraid that having a $1,000 Hermes scarf won't change a thing about my life, or anyone else's.....but it is the perception that people are buying here, not the actual item.

So my perception is this. There are many nice things available to purchase. There are many crappy, cheap items available to purchase, or steal, depending on your economic status. No matter which end of the spectrum you fall on, none of this stuff changes who you are or what you are. The reality is, some people have so much money, they don't have to think twice about dropping $6,000 on a handbag. And most have so little money, they don't need a handbag, they can carry their fortunes in their pocket.

I just find it interesting, going from Prada to the subway, the vast difference in our little consumer-driven United States. And I wonder how long the gap can exist before there is a revolution against the unfairness and unreality of it all. There is a reason why the French Revolution was one of the bloodiest, deadliest episodes in all of history. And there is a lesson to be learned, there. You won't learn it on Oak Street. I suggest taking a subway ride in your mink coat and Chanel handbag. The really rich people in this country will be imprisoned by all of their money eventually. And the meek shall inherit this earth.

Friday, November 5, 2010


My husband warned me that I'm going to really irritate and upset the wrong people if I continue to write this blog.

Good for me! Irritating and upsetting the wrong people (at least, wrong for the job they're in) is going to be my lifelong work.

So be warned:

You can't hide from me if you're an idiot masquerading as anything else.

You can't hide from me if you're a hypocrite.

You can't hide from me if you're a liar.

You can't hide from me if you're a cheat.

You especially cannot hide from me if you're a sickening fraud.

In short, you can't hide from me or my pen/keyboard. I will find you and I will write the facts and expose the truth. If you are evil, I will do everything I can to stop you from spreading.

So, much as I understand and appreciate my husband's concerns, I have bigger concerns than who I might be annoying at any moment.

In fact, no one seems too interested in my annoyance......and I am TRULY annoyed.

Watch out.

Thursday, November 4, 2010


Light rail already suspended in State of Wisconsin.

All you people who voted in Walker and Johnson --- please go to your dentist and have a few front teeth removed, buy yourself a pick up truck and a tin of chew. Stop watching the Packers and starting watching the World Wrestling Federation.

You're officially a redneck now! Less power to ya!

Erlaichda -- First Things Walker Will Do As Governor

1. Get lost between the Governor's Mansion and the Capitol.

2. Try to derail the (signed) contract for light rail. (Has to keep those oil companies happy)

3. Drop the brown bag lunches. I predict Walker will get as fat as Tommy Thompson did during his governorship in the next four years; both physically and financially.

4. Begin his quest to ruin the State of Wisconsin, as thoroughly as he ruined Milwaukee County. These are politics he can understand and implement.

5. Replace competent administrators with cheap hacks, like John Chianneli. Watch the appointments!

6. Destroy Badger Care.

7. Repeal the smoking ban.

8. Piss off (and on) every state employee on the payroll.

9. Repeatedly annoy 49 other governors.

10. Get hit by a bike while crossing State Street.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Election Results

I hereby change Wisconsin's motto (and license plates) from:

America's Dairyland


America's Dumb F*ck Land.

The people of Wisconsin have voted and elected the two worst possible candidates to the Governor's Office and the United States Senate.

The result of the stupidity of this election outcome will become very apparent in the next few years. I hope to watch this from a great distance. The Cheeseheads have melted. I don't want to be a Cheese Ass, nor do I want to be associated with Dumb F*cks. I'm out of Wisconsin at my first opportunity.

I would like to thank Senator Russ Feingold for his amazing service to Wisconsin and his exemplary career as a U.S. Senator. It is a sad day when someone like Russ Feingold can be replaced by an A**hole like Ron Johnson.

Good people of Wisconsin, you're idiots. The only good thing I can say is that you will find out just how entrenched your idiocy is with these two Republican clowns in office. I guess I can look forward to watching that! Hopefully, from a distance.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Election Eve

Well, here it is, mid-term election eve. I live in Wisconsin, which, although the birthplace of the GOP, has been traditionally a progressive and democratic state. Until idiots like Sarah Palin and the tea party folks came on the scene, one could count on Wisconsin to vote with a certain amount of intelligence.

But, these are chaotic times in America. Sensibility has taken a back seat to republican rhetoric. Many people base all their political viewpoints on soundbites, television commercials, and just plain lies. Americans are lazy; no one will research the issues that would give them an honest assessment, and enable them to make an informed choice. They're too busy. Too busy doing what? Being lazy, stupid, and angry that they live in a country with lots and lots of lazy, stupid and angry people, whose only talent seems to be watching extremely biased television. What's sad is that these people turn up at the polls on election day, so we get a government of lazy, stupid and angry people.

Just the thought that someone like Scott Walker, a political hack with one of the worst records in recent history, might become our governor, is overwhelmingly monstrous to me. If this happens, I will leave Wisconsin, much faster than my current five year plan to relocate. I'm going to Costa Rica in February. I may not come back. It depends what I'm coming back to. If it's Governor Walker, well frankly, I'd rather come back to a state that's been invaded and conquered by Canada.

If Ron Johnson, a millionaire who spent millions of his own money on his campaign, replaces Russ Feingold as our U.S. Senator, I will be so tremendously embarrassed by the people in this state, living with fer de lance snakes in Costa Rica will seem like not only a reasonable alternative but the smart one. Better to live with snakes for which there is anti-venom available. Ron Johnson deserves to lose the $4,000,000 he spent on his campaign. The fact that he has that kind of money to invest in a campaign based on blatant misconception and ill-conceived rhetoric should speak volumes to Wisconsin voters. The last thing America needs is more millionaires in Congress.....or freakin' anywhere, for that matter.

So the mid-term election will have a great bearing on what is actually happening in this country. A Republican win will mean most intelligent U.S. citizens, have no voice in this country. If you have no voice, why stick around? The ignorant masses will be ruled by equally ignorant and conniving con-artists. That adequately sums it up.

But it leaves the more thoughtful people in this country up shit creek, which will only get more full of shit once the republicans repeal all the environmental regulations.

Here's hoping intelligence prevails.......but in a country like this, i.e., one that would elect George W. Bush twice, (well, okay, he did steal one of those elections) I'm not at all sure of anything. Except, America isn't what it purports to be, and as collective fools, we're sitting ducks for societies wiser than we are to take it all away.

Anyhow, maybe living closer to the equator will fry my brain a little and I won't get so freaked out, upset, livid, and mortified by what is happening in my country. As it continues to happen, though, being an ex-patriot seems the only intelligent choice I can make. I want America back, but I'm afraid it's going to take a revolution. And maybe that's not a bad idea.