Thursday, January 31, 2013

Richest Country in the World

 I just got off the phone with my dear friend, who is a cancer survivor.  Yeah, right, cancer survivor, only in the sense that she didn't die.  So far, she's managed to come back to her life after a year of strenuous treatment and surgery.  But let me tell you what she's come back to and ask you how long you think she'll survive.

An employer who won't take her back because he's made a "commitment" to the woman who took her place in his dental practice.  What about a commitment to an employee who just happened to get sick?  Obviously, doesn't matter.  You're only as good as your billable hours.

Bankruptcy, because their insurance couldn't even begin to cover all of her medical expenses.

Depression, because she can't afford the medication that would help her.

Anxiety about losing her home.

Money problems, because coming up with the attorney's retainer for filing bankruptcy is more than any bankrupt person could afford.

Fear.  Of losing everything she's worked her entire life to have, which is a home and food on the table.  Not asking much of life, and working her whole life to keep her family healthy and solvent.

Now how is it in the richest country in the world, people who encounter difficult situations are just tossed aside because there is no place in our country for non-producers?

This is a statement about America.  We don't F*UCKING care about you if you aren't a productive member of society, and we don't give a F*CK why you're in that position.  We should just call ourselves Mexico and be done with it.

I have never been more ashamed in my life to be a member of this society, and never felt such annoying hatred for the system that is America, for what we've allowed ourselves to become.

Tear it Down.  Burn it Down.  Revolution NOW!

Friday, January 25, 2013

Sheriff Clarke -- Open Mouth, Insert A$$

Well, if you didn't believe it before, perhaps you will reconsider now.  When one of the top law enforcement officers in the State of Wisconsin tells citizens to arm themselves and come out blazing, you have to wonder about the level of dementia Sheriff Clarke seems to be suffering.

Okay, I guess it's the same as telling all the good people to go out and buy white clothes, and all the bad people to go out and buy black clothes, and let's have a shoot out at the not so o.k. corral, otherwise known as the streets of Milwaukee.

Clarke has really made a disaster out of what once was considered a fine Sheriff's Department.  When I see the guy's face on television, I turn up the volume, because I know another historic moment in Wisconsin Stupid is about to be made, and I don't want to miss it.  Call it a self-actualizing moment.

For anyone in law enforcement to promote the purchase of guns and the escalation of gun violence is about as terrible as things can get.  It's like Ms. Manners, Judith Martin, turning tricks.  The very idea!  Does anyone have any trust left for Sheriff Clarke?  Does Ms. Manners send a hand-written thank you note to a John who was an exceptionally generous tipper?

Add to this latest debacle, courtesy of Sheriff Clarke's ignorant mouth, the fact that he is wasting taxpayer money with lawsuits against the county.  Milwaukee County government may be a bit inept, may have some corruption, and may not have the best interests of it's citizens at it's core, but it still recognizes a dangerous employee, and that's what Sheriff David A. (I know what the A should stand for) Clarke is.  A dangerous man, with demented ideas.

Someone Chapter 51 this guy, please, before he unleashes anymore idiotology onto a clueless public.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Ron Johnson is Like My Sister - and that ain't good

Continually embarrassing himself, Ron Johnson felt it necessary to find someone to blame over the attack on a U.S. embassy in Libya. 

The blame game is really easy to get into; just look at the American court systems and the clogged court calendars with stupid cases designed to blame someone into giving money.

You spill coffee on yourself and it's too hot?  No problem.  You're not the klutz, the vendor who sold you the coffee is.  And you get paid.  Ridiculous.  Yet everyday, someone gets paid for their own stupidity.  Man, everyone in America would be a millionaire if we paid out regularly for stupid.

Ron Johnson wants to play the blame game instead of finding real solutions to the world's real problems.  It's probably because on same base level, Ron Johnson understands that he is part of the problem and incapable of solutions.  Being offensive, in his case, is his best defense.  A bully's manifesto.

Ron Johnson presumes to understand that playing the blame game will help his republican party look better than the buttholes they actually resemble.  What he fails to perceive is that blaming anyone for anything that is so obviously beyond their control is a cowardly act.  But then, bullies are cowards.  They're also self-righteous and believe they understand complex situations that are clearly beyond their limited capability of comprehension.

Reminds me of one of my family members, who is so pious under her robe of deceit that she could never see herself as anything but a morally perfect person.  Thankfully, the Hillary Clinton's of the world, and I, can see that these phony emperors aren't wearing any clothes.  And the naked truth is pretty ugly.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Taking off my beer bottle glasses!

I had surgery on my left eye today for removal of a cataract.  Now I know that my vision has been getting worse steadily, but I honestly had no idea of just how bad it was until I came home from the hospital today and looked at my kitchen, which is white.  Really white.  Except, out of my uncorrected eye, it is definitely a yellowish brown, as was the entire world.  I had simply gotten used to poor vision.   I am so happy, and so thankful to my opthamologist for giving me new eyes - well one new eye.  Getting the other one done in two weeks.  I haven't been able to drive at night for a long time, so I'm anxious to see if once again I'll be able to go someplace after the sun sets.

Anyhow, I just have to mention that modern medicine is a complete marvel (as long as the doctor is, too).  In a way, the surgery is a little strange; you're pretty relaxed but aware of things.  The part that really sticks in my mind is the eye thingy they slap on your face to hold your eye open.  It reminded me of the scene in Clockwork Orange where they strap the droog down, attach a device that won't let him blink, and make him watch horrible acts to cure him of violence and aggression.  Stanley Kubrick.....a visionary (no pun intended) for sure.

Not sure if I'm cured of violence and aggression, but I am SO happy with having one good eye, I could just shout from the rooftops.  But I have to clean my kitchen first.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Inauguration Day - 2013

All my faithful readers know that I rant about every thing that annoys me; politically, personally and unrepentantly.   There is, quite frankly, no person on the planet more irreverent than I am, nor more able to get in your face with the truth at every turn.  Making the hopelessly ignorant squirm is my mission.

But no rant today.  Just an honest to goodness appreciation that this country, for all its horrendous people and problems, managed to reelect the best president we've had in a long time despite the best efforts of money, crooks and puppet masters.

Congratulations, Barack Obama.  Against all odds, you bring hope to the world.  You understand the world's problems and you never let the slime balls you have to deal with bring you down to their level.  You're a good man.  And if someone can say that about you these days, you don't have to accomplish anything else!

Take note Donald Trump.  If you had an ounce of integrity, you might be sitting in the white house.  Unfortunately, you are doomed to sit in your barber's chair, getting bad hair plugs that are almost as awful to look at as anything that comes out of your mouth is difficult to hear.

Oooops.  Sorry.  Couldn't help myself.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Act 10 Rally Before Death

Scott Walker and his droogs may think they have won the Act 10 legislation battle, but they've only won a seriously flawed decision by the Court of Appeals.

The Supreme Court will hear this case, and Act 10 will be struck down.

So enjoy your moment now, republican gangsters.  Your ridiculously unfair legislation will be exposed as the mindless piece of crap writing it actually is right before you're all up for reelection.  And the State of Wisconsin citizenry will then realize, we can't afford you yokels in office, in any way, shape or form.

He who laughs last, laughs longest and hardest! 

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Keith Best is the Worst -- Liar

Unfortunately, I sometimes read the Milwaukee Urinal for lack of any other substantive news source here in Milwaukee.  And for amusement, I read the Letters to the Editor, because if one wants to gauge the level of intelligence in an area, reading these letters is key!

Today's letter comes courtesy of Keith Best, Member of the Executive Board of the Republican Party of Waukesha County (everyone who is anyone hates Waukesha County). 

Let me dissect his letter, line by line.  My comments are in italics.

"Over the past few years, Wisconsin has undergone a complete makeover".

Sure has.  From pristine, natural beauty to the ugly sister with a black, hairy mole on her soul.

"Despite reckless spending and other disastrous financial policy at the federal level, Wisconsin has seen its workforce go back to work".

Er, yes, but, they went back to work from high paying manufacturing jobs to minimum wage hotel door man jobs. 

"Under the previous administration, our state lost 150,000 jobs". 

We've lost that many  and more jobs and new business ventures since Walker took office.  Hell, Doyle's administration was a model of dignity and democracy compared to this roving band of one track minded zealots.

"The workforce was under trained and needing help".

Well, come on.  It still is under trained and needing help.  But how much training do you need to open a door or flip a burger or say hello to some freak of nature at Walmart?

"So Gov. Scott Walker has seen to it that our workers received the training and skills they need to fill jobs that are in demand."

You betcha.  There's nothing like watching your family starve to death to motivate one to take any crap job in the world that pays $8 so you can be turned down at the food pantry, because you're employed.

"Also, through reductions in red tape and administrative costs, we have seen more money flood into the classroom."

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.  I work in a school.  There is no flood of money, but the bull$hit flooding out of Mr. Best's mouth is legendary.  That's one thing you can always count on from a republican, to blatantly lie at every opportunity.  Tell a lie enough and it becomes a truth......well, it will to another republican.  Most of us are conscious of this ploy of the uncreative, by now.

"By eliminating waste, fraud and abuse, Walker has helped make reforms that have led to millions in savings for the taxpayers".

Walker's staffers, when he was Milwaukee County Executive, have gone to trial and been found guilty of various fraudulent activities.  The economic development agency that Walker set up is under investigation for total mismanagement, and the loss of millions of dollars to the taxpayers.  Walker himself is the subject of a John Doe investigation because the guy is as corrupt as Huey Long.  Just think of the waste Walker could eliminate if he would just move to Louisiana.  I apologize, Louisiana.....that was a rotten thing to wish on you.

"If the next two years are anything like the last two, Wisconsin is going to continue moving forward".

Eeeeeyupppp, right into total anarchy and a final comeuppance on shameless, lying sack politicians.

Keith Best ----- don't let him near your kids or your brain!  And keep him out of newspapers.....even rags like the Urinal.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Diet and Exercise Programs

Yes, well, after strictly adhering to a diet and exercise program for 15 days now, I am unhappy to report that I gained four pounds.

So this is what I figured out about diet and exercise programs......they don't work unless you skip  mixed drinks.  Wine seems to be okay.

I had a couple of Captain and Cokes while watching the end of the Packer Season, and then a third one to console myself, and now I can barely button my favorite skirt.  My tights are super-tights.

I have a choice here.  Be a happy person with toned arms and legs and a protruding mid-section, while drinking as many cocktails as I want, or stick to a glass of wine with dinner and hope by summer I can fit into my swimsuit, since I plan to spend a month at the lake. 

Just tell me this.  At what age do women stop caring about their figures?  I really want to get there.  I hope to be an octogenarian who smokes man-like, strong cigarettes, drinks a lot of rum and vodka, drives really fast and eats lobster or steak five nights a week.  The other two nights, I'll eat fast food at the casino, where I'll spend my dead husband's social security check.  I will swear off doctors and just show up in emergency rooms where I will get Schedule I drugs because I can truly act crazy and pained, or make a doctor feel that way, depending on my mood.  I will then abuse those prescriptions regularly.

This sounds good.  Maybe I'll just start now.

No.   I have a lot of really great clothes I'd like to wear this summer.  I'll trade fashion for elderly shenanigans, at least for a little while.  But I do make old age sound less horrendous, don't I?  Stick with me grasshopper!

Monday, January 14, 2013

My Dumb Neighbors

Ordinarily, I like my neighbors very much; we're all pretty liberal, we live in a very nice little enclave inside the city, we're culturally diverse and we take pride in our properties.

But here we are, two weeks into 2013, and these Wisconsin people have freakin' forgot that this is Wisconsin and it is winter. 

Granted, 2012 was the warmest year on record for the State of Wisconsin and winter was just a little snow to be shoveled here and there.  Then spring arrived followed by a hot, blistering summer with no rain - making us all believe winter would never come again.

It is January 2013.  We had pretty mild temperatures (I'm talking high 30's, high 40's) for a few days.  And then the weekend came.  And it snowed and dripped ice.  It's a$$-freezing cold outside, and everything is covered with a coat of bumpy, slippery ice.


Some of us have dogs that don't give a $hit if there's an ice storm.  Well, they do give a $hit, which is why we have to take them outside. Tara, the World Is My Toilet, dog likes to sniff out the best possible spot for a meaningful evacuation.  This means, I have to walk her for awhile before the right smell stimulates her butt to action.  This was really hard to do when the sidewalks were frozen over and too treacherous to walk on.  Same with the grass, but it was a little better than the sidewalk if you were wearing ski boots.  Okay, so I get it.  It was Sunday morning, you wanted to sleep in, read the paper, drink hot coffee, surf porn sites, whatever, I get it. 

But I tried to take my springer for another walk today, and you idiots still have done nothing.  Well, not all of you.  I live on a circle, so of the fourteen houses that encompass the circle, five people had done something about the ice (me being one of them).  That means nine of you are waiting for spring, and I'm sick to death of your lazy cheap a$$es so get off them, buy some salt, and take care of your sidewalks.  Next time I'm taking the walk with some spray paint.  Even if I just write dumb lazy F*CK on your ice covered sidewalk, I'm sure you'll get the message. 

Friday, January 11, 2013

Alien Intervention Anyone?

Well, what this planet needs is a good plague, something to wipe out 78% of the population so that the ones left standing can either work out a viable plan or kill each other off rapidly.  Killing each other off could be easily accomplished by clinging to antiquated notions like those currently in place and being voted on in the House of Representatives at this very moment.

Or how about alien intervention.

Really smart extra-terrestrials land here.  With one look, they can heal you from anything that ails you.  They can turn stagnant water fresh with a point of a magic alien stick.  They can clean the air and the oceans.  They can feed everyone a Tang-like super nutritious substance that will magically cure hunger and provide perfect nourishment.  They can remove all violence from brains with a simple laser procedure (not necessarily on the brain).  They can disassemble a monetary system and erect a Utopian community where everyone's talents are exposed, honed and shared. Everyone is satisfied. 

Would you invite these space strangers in? 

Of course you would not.  You're a stupid human deemed to ride this rock to its death, like some poor old war horse.  You're programmed to never be satisfied.  To you, an equitable society sounds a lot like going to some fundamentalist church for three hours every Sunday and then being fed liver and shame.

But the aliens will be waiting for you, someday.  Don't worry, though, you won't become legend in a cosmic cookbook featuring manwhiches.  That has to be the equivalent of feeding a filthy pig to a Muslim in any advanced civilization. 

Yep, it's Friday.  I'm burned out.  God created the world in seven days.  I've created a black hole of depression for all of you.   Your welcome and f*ck off.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Walker's Success Story

Walker, while campaigning for governor, promised the creation of 250,000 jobs. 

Golden Guernsey, a Waukesha-based dairy plant, just locked out its employees and filed bankruptcy - in the State of Delaware.  There was no compliance with State of Wisconsin plant closing regulations, just a bunch of people out of jobs, and probably their pensions.

Scott Walker is a lying son of a bitch who should be run out of the state for gross misconduct in public office.  May all the disgusting havoc he has brought to this state return to him tenfold.  He and his over eater wife should be forced into a tent city to spend the rest of their days, preferably in Syria.

Wisconsin ranks 42nd in job creation in the nation.  For all of you math whiz geniuses who reside here, that's 8th from the bottom.  This is what happens when the electorate puts an idiot motherf*cker in charge of anything.  The people of Wisconsin allowed this moron into the Governor's mansion; tell me what its going to take to force him out?  And Tonette Walker wants a new kitchen?  Call Jenny Craig.  Have your meals delivered.  I'm sure you can find a way to do this and stick the expense to Wisconsin citizens, yet again.  The Walkers are the scourge of Wisconsin and may they long go down in history as the morally bankrupt, hopelessly stupid people they actually are.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Wisconsin - Open for Environmental Rape

Well, those bottom lurking, slime dripping, human excrement-like people otherwise known as republicans are about to embark on the devastation of Wisconsin's northwoods.

A mining bill is sure to pass in both houses (thanks in large part to how the republicans re-wrote the voting districts to their advantage).  This will insure that where there were animals, fresh water rivers, ancient forests, good fishing and hunting and abundant natural resources, there will now be a gaping open hole in the ground, complete with all the contamination this kind of mining brings.  Native Americans in the area are outraged, but they really need to hone their archery skills and remind the republicans that they aren't the only ones capable of taking the country back 100 years.

The Robin Voss', Scott Walker's, Glen Grothman's of the world should take note; Wisconsin is not going to take anymore senseless leadership.  The environmental cost of the mine far outweighs the few jobs it will create.  But that is hindsight, of which the republicans have none, despite having their heads up their a$$es 99% of the time.

Glen Grothman's recent racist comments denigrating the celebration of Kwanza will come back to haunt him.  My church has a Kwanza celebration every year, and it is one of the best Sundays of the year, as far as I'm concerned.  For a guy who dislikes brown so much, Grothman sure spends a lot of time with his head up his a$$.

Its time to stop talking about a revolution and start thinking about the best way to overthrow Wisconsin's government, and then the United States government.  When you've got nothing but crap in your pail, it's time to dump it.

Monday, January 7, 2013

I Wonder?

I wonder how corporate America keeps pulling off the mass fleecing of American citizens (case in point:  WE Energies rate hikes) and the American people just sit and take it.  WE Energies penalizes "green" industries and industries who use significant lower amounts of energy, because they are not feeding the corporate pig.  We take this.  We shouldn't.   I believe a federal agency should investigate WE Energies as they are wholly corrupt and consumed by their own greed.  What they need is to be broken up. 

I wonder how banks justify ARM mortgage rates that are so high, many American families lost their homes because of them, while at the same time, these same banks pay less than 1% interest on savings accounts.  The banking industry is so skewed against the consumer, one must check balances everyday to insure no irregularities are occurring in accounts.  Further, these banks manipulate data.  For example, you have $1 in your checking account.  You deposit $20.  You then write a check for $19.  The bank will manipulate the data to say you wrote the check before you deposited the cash, and charge you a ridiculously unfair fee.  Banks manipulate your financial data all the time......and no one seems outraged about this, probably because no one pays close enough attention to what is actually going on in their accounts.  That's just stupid these days, when access to your information is readily available any minute of the day.  But it is unconscionable that these banks, who already are magnificently wealthy, view their customers as just another mark.  The banking industry is a con game.

I think it would be ridiculously easy for the American population to shut down these insatiable greed machines by just refusing to pay.

Refuse to pay your mortgage.  Refuse to pay your electric bill.  Refuse to pay your credit card statement and finally, refuse to file a tax return after going tax exempt. 

There is safety in numbers.  When will Americans finally have enough of corporate gouging and start fighting?

Friday, January 4, 2013

Scott Walker's Bald Spot, Part II

Well, try as he might, that bald spot just keeps growing larger and larger on Scott Walker's bone head.  It's taken on a life of its own.  Now I, personally, love a good, bald man, but Scott Walker's bald spot is hideous; taking over his entire head while his thick, wiry hair grows around it.  It's like a fur trimmed toilet seat.

Scott Walker has a scalp yarmulke. 

Scott Walker's bald spot is alive.  It is eating his head.  Scott Walker's bald spot is frustrated.  It will seek nourishment elsewhere.  It will come for us next.  We MUST stop Scott Walker's bald spot.

Scott Walker's bald spot is evil, it is waiting for a chance to leap to other heads and eat away hair and all semblance of sanity. 

Scott Walker says he's going on a trade mission to China, but we all know he's seeking Chinese medicinal cures for hair loss.  And of course, he's chasing the dragon, we all know Scott Walker loves opium.  That's why he lost his hair to begin with.

Scott Wallker's bald spot is spiraling out of control, consuming more and more hair as it advances.  Soon Scott Walker will be coughing up giant hairballs like an old tom cat, because his bald spot has forced his hair to grow inward. 

Scott Walker's bald spot will kill him, as hair continues to grow out of every orifice:  nostrils, ears, black hairy tongue, anus.  Scott Walker will soon be known as the Yeti of Wisconsin.  Only his bald spot will spare him from living in the Nicolet National Forest, scaring girl scouts.

Save us.  Send razors NOW!

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Revolution Anyone?

I'm sick of this f*cking country, with a capital S. 

I'm sick of every politician in Washington D.C., and they should all just go the way of the Mohican's.  Nothing like f*cking up everything - this is what old, rich white men do, and this is the only thing they succeed at.

I'm sick to death of being gouged by every possible a$$hole out there selling a product, a service, or some ridiculous ploy to separate good citizens from their hard-earned cash.

I'm sick of Americans and they're apathy, as well as their unbelievable capacity to behave irresponsibly and immorally.

This country should just drop wholly dead......just lay down and give up, because there is NOTHING left here worth saving.

I need to get out of this truly God-forsaken $hithole of a nation and find a place that's sane.  Maybe we're not Syria where the government is bombing and gassing its residents, but what this government is doing to average citizens is not that different, its just more subtle and absolutely as damaging.

I hate what the United States has become.  If you don't feel like I do, you're just not paying attention.  But then the average attention span of a U.S. citizen is nothing to write home about it, either.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Silver Linings Playbook

I just saw the movie "Silver Linings Playbook".  I'm hard pressed to find a way to describe the movie; I'll just say if you're sick to death of hollywood formulas, this is the movie for you. 

I loved this movie and I think Bradley Cooper was absolutely astounding in the role of a less than mentally sound individual, trying to cope.  But the movie is so much more than a peek into bipolar disorder; it is truly an astounding film and will probably be in the running for best picture of the year. 

My husband, being a shrink, thought the movie would be too much like work, so I went with my girlfriend.  We walked out thinking, how do we begin to describe the movie to anyone?  We can't, we only recommend that people get out and see it.  It's an incredible movie with a stellar cast.


I guess if you're a superstitious person, the year 2013 is not going to bode well for you.  There is that 13 in it, after all.  Unlike any large hotel, we can't pretend 13 doesn't exist......not for 365 days.

Fortunately, for me, 13 is one of my favorite numbers so I'm expecting a good year.   I also realized that this is the first year I've ever been alive that has ended in a 13.  I'm happy about that.  I won on roulette in Nassau, Bahamas, betting on 13 twice in a row.  I always play 13 on roulette on any Friday the 13th, with remarkably consistent good luck.

I like 13.  A baker's dozen, and I am a baker, once in awhile.  Mostly, a baker's dozen is exactly how many I eat of anything particularly savory.  I need to lose exactly 13 pounds.

Let's hope 2013 is a phenomenal year.  To hell with fiscal cliffs, the NRA (No Rational Argument), televangelists, tea party bags, politics and large corporations.  2013 is the year of people who believe in very little, which sums me up in a nutshell.  What we do believe in is so fantastical that the beliefs can't even be considered rational.  I hope 2013 turns everything upside down; and I believe that this is exactly what the Mayans were predicting. 

Let's forget about the way we were, and concentrate on the way we want to be.  For me, its living in a just and poetic world.