Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Where is Sheriff Clarke?

Where is Sheriff Clarke these days?  It's been at least a week since he's done anything publicly stupid. 

Is he laying low over the outrage most citizens feel over his $95,000 taxpayer paid lawyer fee?

Is he hitting the ridiculous radio talk show circuit again to promote his fantasies?

Is he afraid to come out of his house because someone showed up there to hand him a letter?  (Note to folks who went to Sheriff Clarke's house uninvited ---- you're lucky there's not a chalk line outlining your dead body on his driveway).  The Sheriff firmly believes in stand your insanity.

Or is he in California, cramming for finals? 

Wherever Sheriff Clarke is, many of us hope he stays there.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013


The depth of self-deception Mr. Walker embodies is almost laughable; except he actually does believe this stuff, which makes him dangerous.  And the people who believe right along with him are even more dangerous.  Wanting something to be true does NOT make it true.

The gutting of public employee unions here in the State of Wisconsin did nothing for the thousands of teachers and other public workers except seriously compromise their financial status.  That Mr. Walker would assume his actions were similar to FDR's actions in the time of the great depression is an insult to everyone who understands the difference between great leaders and circus clowns.

If Mr. Walker wants to adequately compare himself to historical figures, how about these:

1.  Adolph Hitler
2.  Charles Manson
3.  Chase the Gardener
4.  Pol Pot
5.  Idi Amin
6.  Bernie Madoff

Walker is a poor excuse for a politician and a classic example of a deluded human being.  Mr. Walker would benefit from some anti-psychotic medication, because his thinking is as twisted and chaotic as any person suffering the misery of schizophrenia. 

Please don't insult the memory of Franklin Delano Roosevelt by even using your name in the same paragraph, Mr. Walker.  We all know what you are --- an empty headed, uncreative pawn to the super rich.  We all look forward to your retirement --- and your future at some conservative think tank, which would be sort of like having a eunuch trying to make a donation at a sperm bank. 

Monday, July 29, 2013

Amerika Land of No Revolt and the Truly Revolting

I was watching television and learned of a new service available to Americans - having someone come in and pack your luggage for you prior to departing on your vacation.

This made me stop dead in my tracks, as I'm coming to the end of packing up a two story home pretty much by myself prior to a cross-country move.  Someone here in Amerika is so busy, so important, so tired, so entitled, so what???? what is the right word????? that they hire someone to do their vacation packing? 

Packing for a vacation ought to be a whole lot of fun - new clothes (always a few), deciding how many dresses and shoes you might need........I mean, come hard is it to pack for a vacation to some new place?  I cannot believe that this service is now available and people are using it.  I thought of my husband, enjoying himself in New Orleans this weekend as I dragged crap to the dumpsters, and I sort of felt like breaking his knees with a baseball bat, since it was all his crap.  I knew I was signing up for this going in, but still, I sometimes feel very violently aggressive toward people who are having a whole lot more fun than I am, while benefiting from my hard work without ever having broken a sweat.

I digress.

Pack your suitcase for you?  Sheeeeeesh!  Like I would know which socks you like or what bra makes your boobs look perky, or which pants makes your a$$ look like a helicopter landing pad.  Packing up your house would be a whole lot easier, but please don't call me.  I've had enough. 

And I can't help but believe that those of us doing the vacation packing for those of you who require this service will someday just wake up and tell you to suck it up and do your own  packing because we actually believe you're tainted, and anything belonging to you is tainted too, so we don't want to touch it.  In fact, we want to fumigate you and your whole existence.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Tips for Taking a Road Trip with a Cat

1.  Your vet can prescribe valium for the cat.  If this does not help the cat tolerate a car trip, take one yourself.

2.  As soon as you enter the freeway, your cat will instantly relieve himself in the backseat litter box.  This stink will follow you for 75 miles, before you can't stand it anymore and must stop to clean it.  This behavior will be repeated the entire length of your trip. 

3.  Cats do not like motorcycles or semi-trucks and will growl and hiss when you pass one. 

4.  For a cat, the most comfortable part of the car is under the gas pedal and brakes.  Be very careful when removing the cat from this place.  Stepping hard on the tail works very well.

5.  Cats get bored on long road trips.  They entertain themselves by sleeping, coughing up fur balls, puking, spreading their food all over the back seat and spilling the water bowl. 

6.  Cats, by their very nature, do not like to go 70 mph and will voice objections to this speed on a regular and annoying basis.

7.  You cannot leave the cat in the car and go eat something in the restaurant.  Prepare to consume food that must be delivered through a drive though window.  You must also take the cat to the bathroom with you, so make sure you have a carrier, because despite the cat's misgivings about being uprooted, he will take off the moment you don't have him under control.  The unknown is always more acceptable to the cat than the car.

8.  Cats do not like hotel rooms, due to their over developed sense of smell and their pronounced sense of entitlement.  They also will attempt to escape this particular hell every moment.  If your cat is stalking and pouncing all night as you try to sleep, you have picked the wrong hotel and it is bug infested. 

9.  Just when your cat has given up all cat like hope of leading a cat like life and is feigning serious illness or death, you will arrive at your destination.  Do not believe the lies of the cat and don't waste money on an unnecessary trip to an animal hospital.

10.  Your cat is PI$$ED.  Do not be surprised if he hides for days in your new house, pretends he can't find the litter box, and refuses food and affection.  Look out for sneak attacks the first few days and stop asking what that smell is.  You know what that smell is and you'll find it, eventually.

11.  Do not leave anything of value on the floor, especially your shoes.  As I said, your cat is PI$$ED off and will retaliate accordingly.

12.  Expect your cat to be confused by the flora and fauna of your new location.  Be especially careful of cats bringing baby water moccasins to your patio.  Cats don't do commands, so good luck getting the cat to give up any prey he may have found.  Also, look out for that mother snake.

13.  Having a fenced back yard means NOTHING to your cat.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Scott Walker Disappointed that Ryan Braun Lied?

You know, there is nothing more nauseating that someone who has the unmitigated gall to call another person a liar when that person's whole existence is based on nothing but lies.

People like Scott Walker lie to themselves all the time, I'm sure.  Otherwise, how could they look in the mirror?  Still, to hear Scott Walker express disappointment in someone being a liar is the most outrageous example of having a vacant head and heartless soul that I've come across in a long while.

I am an impatient person lately, and waiting for things to shake out, come out in the wash, or for karma to be leveled is an excruciating experience for me.  Still, I take solace knowing the day will eventually come.  Don't mistake me for a Christian - I don't believe in the Judgment Day that so many Christians are waiting for (talk about blind faith - knowing the things that have been done in the name of Jesus Christ).  Are these people kidding or are they just stupid?  I sure the hell wouldn't want to be a Christian on any version of their judgment day.  But, I digress. 

I guess I believe in poetic justice only - always have, always will, always have seen it come to fruition.  People will get exactly what they deserve, be it good or bad.  If I were Walker, I'd just retire now and get on my knees.  Like that will do any good.  To quote Leonard Cohen, "when they say repent, repent ---- I wonder what they meant."

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Ryan Braun Big News - Trayvon Martin - not so much.

It's front page scandalous news for Ryan Braun, who has been suspended from major league baseball due to his doping regimen with performance enhancing steroids.  Ah - American heroes - they fall mightily when they fall.  I could give a rat's a$$ about Ryan Braun or the drugs he took to make him the most valuable player, or whatever the hell he was dubbed.  Really.  I like baseball.  I like football, but I'm not insane about sports and it makes me sick to know that these people make millions of dollars while people doing real work, like teachers, are condemned for wanting union representation.  At any rate, our country is stuck in a bunch of fraudulent and misguided hero adoration and it bespeaks the intelligence level of this nation.  It should be noted here that I never buy a ticket for a game; only go if someone gives me a free one.  I refuse to take part in hero adoration funding.

So Ryan Braun gets to sit out the next 65 or whatever games because he's suspended.  Yeah - sure that's going to really make a difference to an overpaid superstar athlete.  Maybe he can go to the gym and do a legitimate work out to enhance his performance.  It's Lance Armstrong all over again.  People like Ryan Braun and Lance Armstrong give sports a bad name and take lying to new lows.

How quickly this story has replaced the travesty of justice of Trayvon Martin's death.  George Zimmerman now going to get his guns back?  Hello?  I like the fact that Kanye West, Stevie Wonder and Jay-Z are all going to boycott Florida over this.  So am I (although I probably will travel to Key West occasionally - since the Conchs don't consider themselves as part of Florida anyway.)  Florida is just too red-neck for me (this from a person who is moving to Louisiana).  Truthfully, stand your ground laws in Florida will be the demise of that state.  No one is going to feel safe there, especially anyone of color.  So let the boycott begin.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Another Bald Spot

Well, I was kind of hoping that the royal baby would be a girl because we've all watched the two little princes grow up into, it's a potential king.  A little princess would have been fun to watch.

Oh well.  All the Windsor men have balding heads, but I take that as a strong evolutionary sign that they're probably more sophisticated than all the men with a full head of hair. 

I happen to like bald.  I happen to like hair, too.  What I don't like is that fur rimmed toilet seat Scott Walker walks around with on his head.  That jerk can't even commit to going bald.

Royal Baby Watch

The whole world is anxiously awaiting the birth of Prince William's first child.  Ah, excitement.  Everyone is anticipating the birth of the newest royal and I'm sure the wagering is heavy in England on sex, birth date, weight ...... people will gamble on anything.  (I know this because I do this.)

What's the big deal though?  This baby will be born with its future solidly locked down, no worries about anything, and a family history that will be difficult to memorize, but expected, nonetheless.  Great.  Babies are always good news.  I love babies - they're so incredibly guileless.  And this particular royal couple is so much less annoying than so many of the other royal pains. 

I'm betting they name the baby Diana Elizabeth or some variation.  At least, I'm sure the name Diana will figure into the equation.   I'm sure it's a girl.

At any rate, monarchies fascinate Americans because we have no such aristocracy here in the United States, except for the top paid actors and actresses.  It's a good thing America has no royalty - our people would certainly offend them at every opportunity, meaning to or not.  America's classless society could not handle royal protocol. 

So how does the royal nanny attend to the royal baby?  Is curtsying before diaper changing required?  Does one have to close one eyes before wiping off the royal bum?  Are royal babies allowed to burp?
Questions. Questions.  Well, regardless, the birth of any baby is good news (most of the time) and we certainly all anxiously await the royal posting on this particular little bundle of joy.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Act 10 To Be Defended by Wisconsin Department of Justice

After spending a million dollars on fancy republican law firm Michael Best & Friedrich, Act 10 will now be defended in the courts by Wisconsin's DOJ. 

I suppose this is good news.  State appointed yokels will totally botch the defense and maybe we can get back to a less fascist government here in America's Scaryland. 

Wisconsin continues to be the most laughable state in the union; Walker continues to be the nation's most incompetent governor and  Attorney General J.B. Van Hollen continues to be in way over his head.

Might not look like good news, but it has promise. 

Sunday, July 14, 2013

George Zimmerman found Not Guilty

I somehow can't get my head around the fact that a teenage boy is dead after being terrorized by his killer for walking around with a hoodie on.  I also cannot stomach that the killer has been acquitted. 

Am I alone here in my disbelief over this situation?  Am I alone in my utter terror of what concealed carry laws have rendered?  Am I to begin to carry a weapon with me at all times so I can live in the politically created fear that everyone is out to get me and I can shoot to kill with no ramifications?

All that aside, this young man, Trayvon Martin, is dead because someone didn't like his look (color?), didn't like his attitude (harassed?) and didn't like him being where the shooter thought he shouldn't be (anywhere in America?). 

What have we become?  Better question - what new lows have we managed to fall to?  The human race has never been one I've had particular respect or admiration for, despite having been a member for 62 years.  Believe me, if there was another tribe on this planet, I would gladly join it and ask questions later. 

Funny thing - one of my radical friends walked into his bank in a northwestern town in Wisconsin with a hoodie and aviator glasses on (as he called it - full Ted Kaczynski)  and deliberately tried to scare everyone with his look.  I'm guessing he has a ton of money on deposit with the particular bank.  At any rate, the bank ultimately posted a notice that anyone who entered the bank and looked "threatening" would not be served and would be treated as a potential theft.  Needless to say, my friend took his money and ran.  He is now talking about taking his money and running to another country.  Sounds like a good idea.  I wish I had enough money to do it, too.

Are we all supposed to look alike here in Amerika?  I propose we all swallow some chemical that will turn us all blue and smurfy nice.  Then we can all get the same brown shirts and alas, who will we find to hate?

F*ck humans.  I hope the aliens are saying it too, as they point their ray guns at our incredible stupidity.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Scott Walker as Dumb as they Come

Scott Walker made comments that protesters at Gogebic Taconite's mining site had "no place in Wisconsin".  Excuse me?  Mr. Walker, please be advised that this is a democracy (despite your best efforts) and protesters can protest anything we f*cking want, anytime we f*cking want, anywhere we f*cking want.  His Idiotship Walker then went further to say that the protesters were radical extremists.  No Walker, you're the f*cking radical extremist.  We'll deal with you in the next election.  Meanwhile, we're stuck with your absolute lack of intelligence and your total a$$hole politics.

Secondly, we had a city wide shootout this week; between two guys in cars who began shooting at each other on the south side of town, then got on the freeway, continuing to exchange gunfire, and ended up shooting it out on the north side of town.

Guess What!  These Two F*cking Morons both had concealed carry permits --- brought to you by none other than Scott F*cking Walker.

Walker needs to go.  All politicians who think (and I use the term loosely) like Walker does need to go.  Americans need to mobilize to rid ourselves of this violent, ideology-spouting group of non-thinking fascists.

Take back America.  Take back Wisconsin.  Take back Sanity and send these complete idiots straight back to whatever hell hole they crawled out of.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Sheriff Clarke adept at Extortion

I am seething with the news that Milwaukee County will pay Sheriff Clarke's $95,000 legal bill in exchange for dropping all his ridiculous lawsuits against the county.  This should not be a taxpayers burden, and frankly, paying for some one's insanity is something I'm only willing to do if they agree to take their meds and get psychological help. 

This is another example of how insane government is in Wisconsin.  We have a high ranking, elected county official getting away with extortion, and a County Board letting him.

Milwaukee is doomed as a city because of nitwits like these.  Wisconsin is doomed as a state because of buffoons like Scott Walker.  If this is how moronic things are on a local level; well, definitely more than time to leave.

I'm sure Louisiana will present a whole new set of problems and anxieties for me, but frankly, I couldn't be happier to be kissing off this mindless set of people and politicians for new horizons.  Wisconsin might as well change its name to Banjo land for all the inbred examples of chromosomes gone completely wrong. 

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Nazi's in the Northwoods

I read with disbelief that Gogebic Taconite, the large mining corporation who is waiting for permission (and likely going to get it thanks to Head Moron Scott Walker) to mine and destroy hundreds of miles of pristine Wisconsin forest, has hired a security force who will wear camouflage and be armed with AK47 assault weapons.

There have been some clashes between Gogebic Taconite and environmentalists, as well as the Native American tribes whose watershed is threatened by this corporation.

Now if one thing is certain, the radical right wing republicans have one motto - less government is better.  But what if our government is being replaced by corporate fascists who control everything with money and assault weapons, while removing every safeguard average citizens have?

My best friend grew up in communist Poland for awhile, and she often points out to me the similarities in what is happening here in Wisconsin with what happened in Poland.  The Russians dictated the way of life to the Poles; while here, the corporations are dictating the way of life to everyone in the proposed mine area.  All of this fascist behavior on the part of  Gogebic Taconite is a precursor of the kind of America that is coming to us all if we don't stand together and stop the capitalist PIGS in their greedy tracks.  If you don't believe me, fly somewhere and watch how quickly your carrier screws up your trip: delays your travel, loses your luggage, cancels your connection and tells you to pi$$ off:  that's non-regulated business.

So glad to be leaving this ignorant, backwards state.  My advice is not to take a walk in the woods in Wisconsin anymore.  Corporations have a license to kill.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013


What is this constant fascination people on the right have with preventing legal abortions?  Why is there so much dismay expressed by the radical right when a woman wants to exercise a personal choice over her own body?  In short, what are these people so afraid of?

For the record, abortion seems to be a fairly extreme measure of birth control, and a choice I am glad I never had to make.  But it is my body and my right to say what happens to it.  I just got lucky, I guess.

Scott Walker and his administration have recently attempted to stop safe, legal abortions by enacting laws which have nothing to do with safe, legal abortions, except the restriction of them.  This is less about protecting fetuses and women's health; and everything to do about the constant efforts of conservative-minded people to obstruct women's rights.

These people seem to think women should defer to men, stand in men's shadows, and go back to a way of thinking where women were just nice little things to be petted, spoiled and stuck in a kitchen making pot roasts for the eight, ten or fifteen children she managed to push out of her overused uterus.  Didn't we leave all this behind decades ago?  Why do they want to push women back into another century?  WHY ARE YOU MEN SO F*CKING AFRAID OF WOMEN?

I believe some men are so struck by fear because women, at least in theory, can work alongside them, be better at things than they are, and get paid an equal salary.  Women's hard fought battle for equality threatens these types to the point they are emasculated and feel worthless.  Hey dudes - not our fault!  The problem lies in you, not in the uterus. 

Restrictive policies on women's rights over their own body is NOTHING short of STATE SANCTIONED SEXUAL ABUSE.

Women will not tolerate it.  We will not tolerate being forced into America's version of a NAZI experimental medical facility.  We will fight you and we will win.  You will crawl away from this fight a beaten loser and you will spend the rest of your days trying to find a manhood that you never possessed in the first place.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Clarke Officially Insane

Sheriff Clarke has offered to drop his varied lawsuits against Milwaukee County in exchange for taxpayers footing his $95,000 lawyer bill.  The lawsuits were already determined bogus by lower courts and are now in the appeal process.  So basically, what Clarke is saying is "I'm a costly horse's a$$ and taxpayers should pay for it."

What reality is this guy living in?  Not any I'm familiar with. 

It's hard to tell which is more insane, Clark's rants or his utter audacity in expecting that taxpayers foot the bill for his less than intelligent legal maneuverings, which disrupted the common sense flow of government.

Well, this is surely the last nail coffin for Clarke's tenure as Milwaukee County Sheriff, and good riddance.  Crazy religious guy with the psalm ridden old station wagon who drives around Milwaukee spouting bible passages over a loud speaker has more chance of being elected Sheriff than does Mr. Clarke.

Well, I can only hope.

It is, after all, Milwaukee, which is, after all, in Wisconsin, which is, after all, populated by people who are just as nuts as Clarke.  You only have to look at the twice elected Scott Walker to know we're not in Kansas anymore.  No Emerald City to get help from, either.  Just flying monkeys and sham artists.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Ignorant Americans

I was appalled this morning to see that The Milwaukee Journal/Sentinel had published a political cartoon showing a coal burning energy plant and Obama, and asked readers which one was going to provide jobs, or some such tea bag nonsense.  Appalled but not surprised.  The Milwaukee Journal/Sentinel is quite possibly the worst example of American Journalism in the country today.

What amazes me about the United States and a very large number of its citizens is that so many people just don't get that we're destroying the planet by maintaining the status quo.  Coal burning energy plants are a big part of that destructive process.  So what good is a job at a coal burning facility going to do you if there isn't any decent air to breathe anymore because we've completed mucked it up with coal, cars and chemicals.  You can't really work if you can't breathe. 

See, that's the problem in America today.  We've got way too many breathers.  Some of these people should just be randomly suffocated; and they will be, by their own ignorance. 

And while I'm on the subject of ignorant Americans, I happened to watch 740 Park Avenue, a documentary about the disparity between the 1% and the rest of us.  Apparently, 740 Park Avenue is the premier address to have in America; and quite a few corporate bastards, er, bastions live there.  Who the hell needs a 39 room apartment?  Man, I hope this building is the first to come down - it would be a grand start to a revolution that's been brewing for awhile now.  In history, it will probably be noted that the American 1% failed to gauge the depth of hatred people have for their greed, their apathy and their apartments.  These people are freaks of nature - ask the doorman!