Monday, July 29, 2013

Amerika Land of No Revolt and the Truly Revolting

I was watching television and learned of a new service available to Americans - having someone come in and pack your luggage for you prior to departing on your vacation.

This made me stop dead in my tracks, as I'm coming to the end of packing up a two story home pretty much by myself prior to a cross-country move.  Someone here in Amerika is so busy, so important, so tired, so entitled, so what???? what is the right word????? that they hire someone to do their vacation packing? 

Packing for a vacation ought to be a whole lot of fun - new clothes (always a few), deciding how many dresses and shoes you might need........I mean, come hard is it to pack for a vacation to some new place?  I cannot believe that this service is now available and people are using it.  I thought of my husband, enjoying himself in New Orleans this weekend as I dragged crap to the dumpsters, and I sort of felt like breaking his knees with a baseball bat, since it was all his crap.  I knew I was signing up for this going in, but still, I sometimes feel very violently aggressive toward people who are having a whole lot more fun than I am, while benefiting from my hard work without ever having broken a sweat.

I digress.

Pack your suitcase for you?  Sheeeeeesh!  Like I would know which socks you like or what bra makes your boobs look perky, or which pants makes your a$$ look like a helicopter landing pad.  Packing up your house would be a whole lot easier, but please don't call me.  I've had enough. 

And I can't help but believe that those of us doing the vacation packing for those of you who require this service will someday just wake up and tell you to suck it up and do your own  packing because we actually believe you're tainted, and anything belonging to you is tainted too, so we don't want to touch it.  In fact, we want to fumigate you and your whole existence.

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