Donald Trump is feeling very depressed because he is so disrespected in the media (and the world). The current climate in the west wing is one of fear and loathing......and incredible stress to see what the unhinged and deeply conflicted president will do next.
I tried to call the White House today to say nice things to the president (only because I'm terrified that he has the nuclear codes), but I couldn't connect with him. So I thought I'd write this letter and tell our president nice things.
Dear President Trump:
Your kid, Baron, seems nice. He doesn't say much. Looks like he's accustomed to being ignored by you in public, but he does seem nice in his pictures. Anyhow - none of your kids have behaved like the Menendez brothers, so there's that.
You don't throw umbrellas that have difficult mechanisms. That's a little nice.
Your wife's wardrobe is EXTREMELY nice. Except when it's extraordinarily derogatory.
It was nice of you not to murder your hair plug guy.
You aren't a foodie, and it's really nice how you've managed to project that image with your portly porcine posture.
Your shoes are nicely polished.
Your Chinese made ties do an adequate job of covering your mushroom when you're sitting with your legs spread apart like a Sumo wrestler.
You have never told Nancy Pelosi to blow you in public. That is very nice and must have taken tremendous restraint on your part.
You have yet to start wearing a jewel encrusted, gold crown in the oval office, and that is very, very nice of you.
You are extremely nice to oil companies and other major polluters of our land, air and water.
Oh yeah, who can forget how nice you are to billionaires with your massive tax cuts. They think you're really quite nice.
Putin thinks you're the best and nicest rube he's ever come across, and Putin is no dummy - so there's that.
I could go on and on, but I'd rather spend my time telling you all the bazillion ways you're a total a$$hole. I'll save it for later.
Nicely,
Nicey Nice Me.
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