Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Good Ways to be a Bad Influence

In the matter of consistency, one looks at the total of life's experiences and tries to find the constants.

Well, I'm honest to a fault, but haven't always been; loyal -- but I've had my moments of betrayal; intelligent, but have done many outrageously stupid things......so it becomes a challenge to find the constant.

The one thing I've always been to all people I've known is a bad influence. However, that is not necessarily a negative. Some people just need someone to tip them. Like a cow asleep in the field. It wakes them up and reminds them they are indeed alive.

1. If you have a friend who is afraid of heights, trick them into going to the top of the Empire State Building. Later, they'll thank you.

2. If your best friend only shops at second hand stores and wears stained t-shirts, take him or her to Macy's and make them splurge on something utterly expensive that they'll wear and cherish forever, guilt free.

3. Convince the teetotaler to have more than one glass of wine. Watch what happens. It will cheer everyone.

4. Take an overweight, constantly dieting friend out for pizza.

5. Convince someone to call their boss and say, "I'm calling in well today; I just feel too good to come to work". Then go to the beach with a picnic basket and a bottle of wine. No cell phones allowed.

6. Convince a miser to go to the casino with you. When he or she loses all their money, laugh it off and say, "but wasn't it fun, and think of how you're repaying the debt this country owes to Native Americans".

7. Smuggle a can of heavily caffeine laden soda into the hospital for the patient who is too drugged to stay awake for your visit. The patient will remember your visit and actually feel better.

8. When your best friend tells you she can't afford it, convince him or her she can't NOT afford it.

9. Give a fat dog a big cookie.

10. Give a skinny cat a Weight Watchers ice cream bar.

There are numerous ways to be a bad influence in a good way. People will always remember you and love you for it.


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