Monday, October 25, 2010

Erlaichda -- Election Fun

1. We have never seen a picture of Scott Walker's wife, nor has she appeared on television or in political ads with him.

Possible Reason: Scott Walker's wife may be a flesh-eating zombie. It's a reasonable explanation of what the Walker Administration did with all those security and housekeeping personnel who were laid off. If you are missing a janitor or a security guard, please contact me. If you know a janitor or a security guard with a chewed up hand/foot/ear, please let someone know.

2. Rebecca Kleefisch's wide-eyed look is indicative that she is constantly surprised. Well, small wonder. I'd be surprised, too, if I was an ill-advised, under-educated nobody who found herself in serious competition for an important elected office. I have problems with hypocrites like Ms. Kleefisch. She denounces a public health care policy, while helping herself to a cafeteria health care plan funded by taxpayers. So, one can say Ms. Kleefisch's recovery from cancer is based on socialized health plans. Yet she is against socialized health care plans. I've got an idea, Kleefisch. Drop dead next time.

3. Let's take some Behavioral Health Division patients on a field trip to polling places on November 2nd. It would be sort of like having Vietnam War vets with serious amputations welcome young men and women at the local military recruiting office, like Walmart greeters. At any rate, it would seriously hurt Scott Walker, and seriously hurting Scott Walker should be of utmost importance. Oh wait a minute. Maybe the flesh-eating zombie wife is waiting for the right moment to devour him. He has, after all, fattened up considerably in his years in office. Must be all those brown bag lunches. The question is......what is Ms. Zombie Walker putting in those brown bags?

4. Why doesn't Ron Johnson allow the press at his events?

Possible reason: Ron Johnson has his rhetoric down pat, but can't think and talk on his feet, simultaneously. Mr. Johnson would not do well when presented with some real issues and asked to explain his "solutions". He needs that extra hour, forty-eight to polish his spin. The secret to Ron Johnson's losing the election? Pay him in gum. Donate gum to him. Everybody send Ron Johnson a pack of gum. He is probably as physically uncoordinated as he is mentally uncoordinated, so he will chew and fall, possibly striking his head. This can only be an improvement for Ron Johnson's state of mind.

5. Get out and Vote!!!!

Because of the huge significance of this mid-term election; voter turnout is expected to be very high. For that reason, Democrats should go to the polls on November 2nd and Republicans should report on November 3rd. May some divine intervention/cosmic soup, wrap the polling places in intelligence and wisdom.

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