Wisconsin - Nothing to Offer

This state is a nightmare, politically speaking.

Climatically speaking - I cannot believe I'm still here.  There are a ton of Scandinavian immigrants who came to Wisconsin, of which I'm a descendant.  I've heard, "you betcha", "jumpin jimminy" and "yer darn tootin" my whole life.  I grew up on sugar cookies and herring.  Yuck.  I'm so ready to leave my roots. 

Scandinavian families are rather punitive.  I know in my family, one mistake marred you for life.  You could never recover.  With my rather long and checkered history of mildly to awfully bad decisions, I have no standing in my family.  But I'm okay with that.  After trying to be a member in good standing of this particular club, I finally realized what another bad decision that was!  I've shed my Norwegian skin.  I'm not quite sure what exactly has emerged, but I like it better.

It's cold here today.  It seems Wisconsin is always right above the jet stream.  It's still a landscape of gray -- no spring green peeking out anywhere.  It's boring - I mean mind numbingly boring.  Drinking alcohol is the Wisconsin past-time and I NEVER could hold my liquor.  I used to be three drink Trish, drink one, spill one, puke one.  I stop at one, now.  I've been to every museum, zoo, art gallery in the city and all its other "cultural" (I use the term loosely) offerings.  In short, I hate the city I live in.

Since Scott Walker took office, we're now a state of right wing buffoons.  That anyone could take Wisconsin seriously as any political model proves that the IQ of many people in this state has dropped dramatically; if it ever existed at all in the normal range.

I just want to get out of here; in the most expeditious way possible.  Help!  I'm dyin' here!