Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Things I Won't Miss About Wisconsin

The weather here is tremendously vicious, especially in the winter months. 

The fact that there are more drunk drivers here than in any other state in the union.

The incredibly mean segregation of  Milwaukee.

Catholics everywhere.

Pedophile priests.

Parking Nazis.

Sheriff Clarke and his ultra right wing agenda.

People who don't shovel snow and ice off their sidewalks.

Summerfest - which is more appropriately known as Drunkardfest.

Outdoor Dining, which is almost never a pleasant experience.

Rude people.

Idiot drivers.

The knife and gun club in Milwaukee, which meets every Friday and Saturday nights..

The murder rate.

Gang violence.

Obesity rate among the highest in the nation.

Beer guts.

Harley noise.

Pot holes on every thoroughfare and side street.

Lack of quality bakeries.

Marcus theaters.

Incredibly large numbers of disappearing young man off city streets found drowned in rivers - but hey - we don't have no serial killers here.

The stench of Jones Island.

MMSD dumping huge amounts of raw sewerage into Lake Michigan.

State Fair violence.

Sheesh.  I didn't really even get started but I guess I should stop.  Time for this one to leave.


AlexisAR said...

I had no idea it was that bad anywhere other than Milwaukee. I drove throught the central and eastern parts of the state with my family when I was younger, but I was only scared in Milwaukee.

Citizen X said...

I'm still scared in Milwaukee! Which is why I'm leaving! I know that there is no such place as a safe haven anywhere in the world, but Milwaukee, largely thanks to Scott Walker, is on the way to being the next Detroit; a burned out shell of a city.