Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Is Eric Cantor a Rat-Swallowing Alien?

I received an e-mail from the League of Conservation Voters, informing me that they are fighting against an unprecedented assault on our nation's bedrock environmental laws.  Congressional lawmakers aligned with corporate special interest groups like the oil and coal industry are fighting tooth-and-nail to gut vital environmental safeguards.  Can you say WE Energy Whores?

Even though the U.S. House has already taken over 100 anti-environment votes this year, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor recently outlined a "jobs agenda" that takes aim at a dozen clean air protections, including stripping the Clean Air Act's ability to protect public health from toxic air pollution.  What's even more astounding is that Representative Cantor seems to think eliminating protections for public health and the environment is a silver bullet for job creation as seven of his top 10 legislative targets for repeal are clean air safeguards.

This leads me to believe that Erick Cantor is inhuman.  Perhaps all tea bags are inhuman, intent on destroying planet earth in some strange alien warfare that involves political override.  We need to rip their human suits off them.  So let's get a cam crew on Eric Cantor and follow him around.  I bet he swallows rats whole with a hinged like jaw, and scurries through D.C. alleyways looking for bugs and anything slimy to eat.  These predators seem to thrive on disgusting water, brown air and toxins.  If we clean up the planet, we'll rid ourselves of this extraterrestrial vermin. 

I've got a jobs agenda too.  All tea bags will be digging graves for the rest of us, whom they've killed, with their blind and utterly insane anti-planet policies.

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