Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Walkers. A-List Wannabes

The Walkers are throwing a croquet tournament/mansion restoration fundraiser to collect private dollars for refurbishing a publicly-owned building.  I was surprised that the Walkers had ever heard of croquet.  I am even more surprised that they know how to play.  Oh.  That's an assumption on my part.  I will bet public funds that the Walkers are taking croquet lessons and that Scott is especially being reminded to look down and not trip over one of the hoops, thereby causing physical embarrassment to match his mental embarrassment.
Okay.  Fine.  Maybe the mansion does need restoration, although the main renovation it requires is someone new living there.

But when I read that Tonette Walker is asking attendees to donate a favorite purse filled with the donee's favorite things, to be auctioned off at the croquet party, I felt somewhat nauseous.  First of all, the few times Tonette Walker has appeared in public, she hasn't really carried a purse.  She does seem to me to be more of a fanny pack type of girl.  Or, more submissively, the type of girl who doesn't need a purse because her husband takes care of everything.

What would be inside these donated purses?

According to the first lady of Wisconsin, hers will contain a Bobbie Brown lipstick.  (Let's speculate on the shade ---- Cougar Coral) and a tube of hand cream.  Obvious joke not being inserted here.

What else?  A Weight Watchers point book?  A tea party publication on the role of a submissive wife?   A sudoku puzzle pamphlet?  A joint and some oxycodone?  Frankly, that's my guess.  How else could one stomach being in Scott Walker's personal life unless they were completely fogged?

At any rate, if the Walkers were being true to form, they would be hosting a wienie roast and playing the farmer in the dell.  But they do so want to be taken seriously, and thus, croquet and designer handbags. 

The cheese stands alone.

No comments: