My Dumb Neighbors

Ordinarily, I like my neighbors very much; we're all pretty liberal, we live in a very nice little enclave inside the city, we're culturally diverse and we take pride in our properties.

But here we are, two weeks into 2013, and these Wisconsin people have freakin' forgot that this is Wisconsin and it is winter. 

Granted, 2012 was the warmest year on record for the State of Wisconsin and winter was just a little snow to be shoveled here and there.  Then spring arrived followed by a hot, blistering summer with no rain - making us all believe winter would never come again.

It is January 2013.  We had pretty mild temperatures (I'm talking high 30's, high 40's) for a few days.  And then the weekend came.  And it snowed and dripped ice.  It's a$$-freezing cold outside, and everything is covered with a coat of bumpy, slippery ice.

SO BUY A BAG OF F*CKING SALT AND GET YOUR LAZY A$$ES OUTSIDE TO MELT SOME ICE OFF YOUR SIDEWALKS.

Some of us have dogs that don't give a $hit if there's an ice storm.  Well, they do give a $hit, which is why we have to take them outside. Tara, the World Is My Toilet, dog likes to sniff out the best possible spot for a meaningful evacuation.  This means, I have to walk her for awhile before the right smell stimulates her butt to action.  This was really hard to do when the sidewalks were frozen over and too treacherous to walk on.  Same with the grass, but it was a little better than the sidewalk if you were wearing ski boots.  Okay, so I get it.  It was Sunday morning, you wanted to sleep in, read the paper, drink hot coffee, surf porn sites, whatever, I get it. 

But I tried to take my springer for another walk today, and you idiots still have done nothing.  Well, not all of you.  I live on a circle, so of the fourteen houses that encompass the circle, five people had done something about the ice (me being one of them).  That means nine of you are waiting for spring, and I'm sick to death of your lazy cheap a$$es so get off them, buy some salt, and take care of your sidewalks.  Next time I'm taking the walk with some spray paint.  Even if I just write dumb lazy F*CK on your ice covered sidewalk, I'm sure you'll get the message.