Resolutions for 2011

Generally, I don't make new year's resolutions; because I'm very bad at the follow-through.

However, I am making these:

1. I will not automatically dismiss Republicans as hopeless morons.

2. I will try to swear less, limiting my curse words to injuries, breakages, and politicians I detest.

3. I will be very philanthropic with any lottery I might win.

4. I will continue to drink my shot-glass full of red cider vinegar each day. Though it tastes terribly awful, I am healthier after a mere month of this remedy. I highly recommend this. Most illnesses tend to start in the bacterial ridden intestines. Red cider vinegar seems to go right to the source and nip it in the growth phase.

5. I will kiss more. Kissing is therapeutic and good for people.

6. I will be all over Scott Walker like white on rice.

7. I will pay down my debt and will not create more.

8. I will cook more interesting meals.

9. I will lose the last five pounds still firmly attached to my torso.
(As an extremely un-willpowered chocolate devourer, losing 15 pounds last year was a feat of amazing strength.) I will get serious about these last five pounds of lard.

10. I will enjoy life to its fullest! Even the idiots who provide me so much angst. They also provide amusement.