Art Kumbalek posted this joke in his column in The Shepard Express. It bears repeating.
Johnny's parents take him to the mall, where he climbs unto Santa's lap. Santa asks him what he wants for Christmas.
Johnny states he wants a f*cking swingset in his backyard. Santa admonishes him that what he said isn't nice and to try again.
Johnny firmly states he wants a f*cking sandbox in his side yard. Santa, exasperated, gives Johnny a lecture on language. Then asks him, again, what he wants for Christmas.
Johnny demands a f*cking trampoline in his front yard. Santa picks up Johnny and carries him over to his parents, where he tells them what just transpired. He tells the parents the child is bad and advises them to give him nothing for Christmas but a big pile of dog doo.
On Christmas morning, Johnny wakes up and races outside. He finds dog doo in the backyard. Same thing in the side yard. Big pile in the front yard. Johnny comes back into the house and his parents ask him what Santa brought him for Christmas. Johnny says, "he brought me a f*cking dog but I can't f*cking find him."
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.
Have an optimistic 2011!