Mitt Romney's Garbage

Mitt Romney's garbage collector went on the record today telling the world how Mitt Romney doesn't appreciate him or the job he does, and lumps him in with the 47% who drain America's resources.

Well, well.  Interesting.  But what would be even more interesting is if the garbage man told us what he found in Mitt Romney's garbage. 

Let's surmise.

1.  For Men Only packages of hair coloring.

2.  Blonde Ambition hair coloring.

3.  Back issues of The Republic.

4.  Divining rocks so he can translate the gold plated messages given to Joseph Smith.  (Found out they didn't work; translated everything to pig latin.)

5.  Income statements that made up 75% of his trash.

6.  Toe Fungus Spray.

7.  Empty cases of single malt scotch.

8.  A map to the White House Panic Room.

9.  A copy of "How to Convincingly Lie and Deceive People in a Presidential Campaign".

10.  A background check of Paul Ryan, which he fell asleep reading.