Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Sheriff Clarke Oddly Silent - Let's Hope It Lasts

After a lot of press, Sheriff Clarke's office has gone oddly silent.  I'm sure it's not because he wants to, but someone in that office must have told him he was making a proper fool of himself.  Not that Sheriff Clarke would believe THAT!  And pity the poor messenger who gave him the information. 

Still, the Sheriff has been quiet as a little clam this past week after stirring up the entire nation with a lot of crazy talk.

Let's write a few Public Service Announcement that Sheriff Clarke can sink his teeth into and get on the air:

PSA #1.  Hello Folks out there in Milwaukee-land.  I don't like criminals; even the misdemeanor kind, so if  you get sent to one of my facilities because you were shoplifting, I'm going to feed you mystery meat called Nutriloaf, and I will not allow you to be rehabilitated.  I don't believe in rehabilitation.  I don't want any criminal earning a high school diploma or job skill on my watch.  Got it????  Cuz I'm a tough guy.  Cuz I'm kinda like God.  Cuz I get to pick and choose who to be mean to.

PSA #2.  I've been perpetrating a great lie.  I run as a democrat.  But I ain't no democrat.  I'm a tea-party republican.  Remember this when you vote in the next election.  I AM the elephant in the room!

PSA #3.  Hello Milwaukee County denizens.  I just want you to know that the Sheriff's Department in Milwaukee County has the greatest number of thefts and items that go missing in all of the departments for all of Milwaukee County.  I am, effectively, asleep at the wheel!  Don't wake me, though.  I'm a cranky pants when you try to wake me up.

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