Sunday, April 3, 2011

Waukesha County - Why It Sucks

My husband and I spent the weekend in Madison, which was very nice.  He had a conference and I just poked around the city and enjoyed a weekend of eating out, shopping, eating out, gambling and eating out.

At any rate, on the way home, as is customary, we have to pass through Waukesha County.  Waukesha County sucks.

First off, the Wisconsin Roadbuilder Association's construction owners are so hot to get their hands on the mega millions coming their way thanks to Oil Can Scotty, that the freeway is torn up in both directions almost halfway through this county.  Remember, this is April.  The road crews have been at it since March.  So many rich people just can't wait to get richer, I swear, it's like a freakin' disease.  Money lust A-holes.  A nice train could have eased the congestion, but NOOOOO.  Their big earth moving machines have been mucking up the scenery for five weeks already.

I digress.

We came to a complete stop on the freeway in Waukesha County, because some joker caused an injury accident.  Took us an hour to go ten miles.  Has anyone else noticed that some of the worst drivers live in Waukesha County?  There's a reason for that.  Let me explain.

People moved to Waukesha County for a few reasons that they'll verbalize, but the big one, that they won't verbalize, is that they are afraid of black people.  Waukesha County became a haven for white flight.  Now, these same people could build large houses on large lots......but therein begins the problem.  Large houses on large lots, but no services.  No water.  No sewer.  No sidewalks.  The water in Waukesha is tainted and is getting worse.  They keep eyeing Lake Michigan to solve their problems, but thanks to international treaties and agreements, there will be no diversion of Lake Michigan water to Waukesha County.  Let them dig new wells.  Ooops......I mean, let them hire black people to dig new wells.  Better yet, let them keep drinking their tainted water.  It would be better if we could identify these people by green skin tones rather than how utterly dull they are.  More fun, too.

When I drive through Waukesha County, the freeway is congested with cars.  There are only a few strip malls to go to in Waukesha County and one big mall that has seen better days.  The people are coming to Milwaukee, to take advantage of the cultural offerings of a real city.  Waukeshates are bored, bored bored.  They have big houses and big yards, but there is NOTHING to do in Waukesha except go to the strip mall, or cut your big lot of grass, or compare yourself to your neighbors, or put pesticides on your gardens so your skin can turn more green.  Comparing yourself to your neighbors  is completely painful because the neighbors are as boring as anyone else who lives in Waukesha.

Waukesha is like Stepford.  Everyone is the same, all the wives are the same, all the husbands drive the same types of cars and have the same expectations for their families, all the children are the same.  The strip malls are the same.  So anemic are the people in Waukesha County that they almost cease to exist come Friday at 6 p.m.  So uncreative, so unproductive, so unimaginative.  They don't seem to come alive until they get in that car and head toward Milwaukee on Saturday afternoon.

Let's take up a collection for Waukesha County and build them a place to go on weekends so they can stay the hell out of Milwaukee and off the freeways.  What do you suppose Waukeshates would like to do?  How about a great big demolition derby raceway?  The way they drive and love to crash their cars might keep them in their own county once in awhile.

I say we impose a tax on anyone driving into Milwaukee County from Waukesha County.  A $100 tax to cross the border.  Stay on your side of the line.  You didn't want to live here, so don't come back here.  We don't like you.  You take boring to a whole scary level.  You're just too white for us.  Make that green.


Anonymous said...

For someone supposedly so progressive, your prejudice against Waukesha dwellers just oozes out of your pores. To lump everyone together, who lives in an entire county...amazing. Waukesha has a large hispanic population as well as a large lower-income segment. The city has a thriving downtown with arts, music, and progressive people.

I am always amused by holier than thou types who wield the same fascist tools they proclaim to despise, without realizing they are doing so. It's the same kind of behavior that gave rise to racism and classicism.

Citizen X said...

I just don't like Waukesha County. Sorry.

Did your large lower income segment have to file suit to move there?

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! You are absolutely correct about the boring, colorless people of Waukesha. I am a white lifelong Wisconsinite working for a large Corp HQed in Waukesha and it's depressingly homogenous and dull. Thank God I can telecommute and avoid their driving and water cooler chitchat. Their idea of a good time is going to Cheesecake Factory in a mall lot. In ten years we have hired TWO black employees I'm aware of and both have left. The most creative thing a Waukeshan does is mow a diagonal pattern in their lawn. And apparently they love Gov Walker and Justice Prosser. Idiots and a-holes.

Anonymous said...

I generally dislike Waukesha County. Downtown Waukesha contains very interesting people whom are worth socializing with. On the whole outside the city, it is just plain vanilla suburban and ex-urban America. Nothing special and nothing of note. Just blah mile after mile. *Yawn*

Citizen X said...

I agree. It seems to be a microcosm of everything that is wrong with America.....not the city itself, but the subdivisions of McMansions.

Anonymous said...

Thank you! I'm not the only one to think of Waukesha County this way. The suburbs of the Twin Cities have some similarities, but overall they're not quite as bad. I used to live in Minneapolis and the worst drivers were the people who lived in the far out suburbs of Minneapolis. Michelle Bachman is their representative. They would pass you on the interstate going 90 in their stupid Suburbans, Explorers, and minivans. I live in New York City now and the drivers in exurban Minneapolis are worse than New York drivers - yes, no joke. So for some reason people living in far-out suburbs are just a-holes. I think it's the entitlement attitude that they should burn as much oil as they want, take up as much land as they want with their ugly, big-ass houses, and to hell with the rest of society because they think they live in some island apart from society.

Citizen X said...

Oh it's all so rich, isn't it? The more boring, ridiculous and discompassionate a person is, the further from the city center they will live. Anyhow, Waukesha will always be a joke to me; not particularly funny, but just so typical of your average american moron.