My husband and I spent the weekend in Madison, which was very nice. He had a conference and I just poked around the city and enjoyed a weekend of eating out, shopping, eating out, gambling and eating out.
At any rate, on the way home, as is customary, we have to pass through Waukesha County. Waukesha County sucks.
First off, the Wisconsin Roadbuilder Association's construction owners are so hot to get their hands on the mega millions coming their way thanks to Oil Can Scotty, that the freeway is torn up in both directions almost halfway through this county. Remember, this is April. The road crews have been at it since March. So many rich people just can't wait to get richer, I swear, it's like a freakin' disease. Money lust A-holes. A nice train could have eased the congestion, but NOOOOO. Their big earth moving machines have been mucking up the scenery for five weeks already.
We came to a complete stop on the freeway in Waukesha County, because some joker caused an injury accident. Took us an hour to go ten miles. Has anyone else noticed that some of the worst drivers live in Waukesha County? There's a reason for that. Let me explain.
People moved to Waukesha County for a few reasons that they'll verbalize, but the big one, that they won't verbalize, is that they are afraid of black people. Waukesha County became a haven for white flight. Now, these same people could build large houses on large lots......but therein begins the problem. Large houses on large lots, but no services. No water. No sewer. No sidewalks. The water in Waukesha is tainted and is getting worse. They keep eyeing Lake Michigan to solve their problems, but thanks to international treaties and agreements, there will be no diversion of Lake Michigan water to Waukesha County. Let them dig new wells. Ooops......I mean, let them hire black people to dig new wells. Better yet, let them keep drinking their tainted water. It would be better if we could identify these people by green skin tones rather than how utterly dull they are. More fun, too.
When I drive through Waukesha County, the freeway is congested with cars. There are only a few strip malls to go to in Waukesha County and one big mall that has seen better days. The people are coming to Milwaukee, to take advantage of the cultural offerings of a real city. Waukeshates are bored, bored bored. They have big houses and big yards, but there is NOTHING to do in Waukesha except go to the strip mall, or cut your big lot of grass, or compare yourself to your neighbors, or put pesticides on your gardens so your skin can turn more green. Comparing yourself to your neighbors is completely painful because the neighbors are as boring as anyone else who lives in Waukesha.
Waukesha is like Stepford. Everyone is the same, all the wives are the same, all the husbands drive the same types of cars and have the same expectations for their families, all the children are the same. The strip malls are the same. So anemic are the people in Waukesha County that they almost cease to exist come Friday at 6 p.m. So uncreative, so unproductive, so unimaginative. They don't seem to come alive until they get in that car and head toward Milwaukee on Saturday afternoon.
Let's take up a collection for Waukesha County and build them a place to go on weekends so they can stay the hell out of Milwaukee and off the freeways. What do you suppose Waukeshates would like to do? How about a great big demolition derby raceway? The way they drive and love to crash their cars might keep them in their own county once in awhile.
I say we impose a tax on anyone driving into Milwaukee County from Waukesha County. A $100 tax to cross the border. Stay on your side of the line. You didn't want to live here, so don't come back here. We don't like you. You take boring to a whole scary level. You're just too white for us. Make that green.