1. Your life isn't a series of more prevarication and back peddling to cover the lies you've already told.
2. Your wife doesn't look like Pat Nixon or Nancy Reagan.
3. Your children won't get beat up on the street.
4. Your mother raised you with an ounce of humor and a pound of warmth.
5. You still have the respect of most of your peers.
6. You don't have to bend down and pick up pennies because your whole life is not based on your personal net worth.
7. You have actually gone swimming in a pristine lake and know the value of clean water.
8. You don't engage in criminal behavior.
9. You don't constantly bitch about paying taxes.
10. You're not a f*cking moron.