Thursday, February 23, 2012

Wisconsin - Just Not Getting It

Just when I thought it was safe to open my front door and step outside into Wisconsin, I'm assailed by headlines lying on my front porch.  Granted, these headlines are from the Milwaukee Journal, otherwise known (to progressives everywhere) as the Milwaukee Urinal.

First Headline:  Santorum Leads GOP Rivals In State Poll.
You have got to be kidding.  Santorum, who wants to police my picachu and your bedroom.  This man is seriously afraid of all things s-e-x, especially women or he wouldn't be so determined to trample their rights. Oh well, buried further down in that article is the fact that no GOP candidate comes close to possibly beating Obama in the presidential election, returning our once great state to my favorite color, blue.  Let's hope Marquette University's poll holds as much water as Santorum seems to be holding semen.

Second Headline:  Redistricting Trial To Go Forward. 
Well, once the GOP is on a losing streak, they're like pitbulls; they just can't be dissuaded.  This case is going to trail just as our delusional governor raised the amount of taxpayer money that can be spent on outside attorneys from $500,000 to $925,000.  There it is folks.  Your tax dollars at work, intended to preserve the insane workings of the republican party.  These guys would do better to fund mental health services for all party members.  At least, I wouldn't mind paying for that.  Prozac for everyone.  Thorazine.  Hell, Flintstone vitamins might even help these brainless wonders.  Personally, I'd like to open a business in Wisconsin that sells portable electro-convulsive therapy machines.  These GOPPERs need something to shock them back to reality.

Third Headline:  Ex-Walker Aide Fights Charges
Roll over and spill your guts.  That's my advice.  Try to stay out of jail by putting your former boss there in your place.  As Spike Lee said  in such cinematic perfection, "Do The Right Thing".  Once.  Just once.  Life is short and you're running out of opportunities to do so.

Well, I'm going to cuddle up with a good book, my cantakerous kitty, my faithful dog, and my doting husband, and wait for the snowstorm.  As so much everything else is in Wisconsin, it will probably be a miss.  But wouldn't I just love a snow day?

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