Sunday, June 24, 2012

Ouch I Hurt Myself

Great.  Fell down, and no, I was neither drunk nor stoned.  Now I have to sit with ice packs.  Read two newspapers this morning, finished a novel, tried to watch television and now I'm forced to write because I cannot walk  The novel I finished was neither particularly interesting nor well written.  Got published, though.  Made me feel like the publishing industry is in some kind of creative fog.  Still, I read the whole novel.  Boredom. 

I fell down a step.  I sprained my left ankle and landed on my right kneecap.  I was wearing the wrong shoes.  I miss my old self, who was graceful and lithe.  And thin.  And young.  And quite fetching, some said.  Jesus, I need a wheelchair.  For real.  We live our lives and then we become dependent on apparatuses.  Apparati?  Medical equipment. F*ck.

My husband is away and the best version of walking I can come up with is the limping left club foot drag trying to keep up with the unbendable right peg leg kick.  It is a sad little sidle, wherein I make crab like and painfully slow progression.  Adding insult to injury, I'm so stiff I appear to have been someones favorite b*tch in cell block nine.  I am not kidding, I need a wheelchair.  But I don't have one.  Of course, I live in America, so I can just call an 800 number and one will be delivered to my door.  As long as I have insurance and a MasterCard.  Master.  Card.  Sheesh, could they be more blatant?  I know I'm a slave.  Somehow, the spin is that it's prestigious to be a slave.

Does anyone think the United States has slipped into a very bad malaise, from which it might never recover?  Did the United States slip and fall and injure itself so egregiously that it, too, is practically crippled?  All the kings horses.....and all that?  If so, we should coddle the baby and not throw her out with the bath water.

  We all know there is:

"No political solution."  This should be the battle cry of the new revolutionaries.

Or perhaps, "I flat out refuse and you can't f*cking make me".

Or my super angry personal favorite, "Take that MF!".
I'm a little stir crazy today.  Guess I'll go work on my novel.  How hard can it be?

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