Cheap Bitches

I know a woman who is so ..... well frugal is far too polite.......who is so incredibly cheap, its embarrassing to be around her.  Especially when the check arrives.

I guess people like her have always been in abundance.  They hold on to the first dollar they ever got and they hoard their money.  What they don't get is they hoard their money into extinction, because you really can't take it with you. 

Anyhow, I find this particular woman's history to be most comical.  She married for money (but the man she married didn't have any) so the joke was on her.  She spent the rest of her married life, until her spouse died (he was twenty years her senior)  being angry, bitter, and bent on never letting him have a single cent of money she earned.  You can see the hypocrisy in this, as can I.  Still, I find it most amusing that she found herself in this situation and that she spent her whole married life crying over the money her husband didn't have to give her.  I'm talking thirty years of whining and making everyone suffer because she was so blinded by the thought of money, she couldn't see the empty piss pot.

Now, this money grubbing, greedy woman never ever skimped on herself.  She had closets full of designer clothes in many different sizes, dependent on where she was in the eating disorder game. 

She never offered to pay a check, and if she did offer to buy anything, like a ticket to a show for someone who truly couldn't afford it, that gift somehow never materialized.  She reminds me of a big concrete ugly bank building where inside she hides all her treasures and her only role in life is to make sure no one ever gets to share them.  This is her security.  This is her superiority.  This is how she thinks she covers up the fact that her life and herself are extraordinarily superficial and disingenuous.  Surprise!  We all see her anyhow.  And we laugh at her fiscal conservatism, as she would call it.  We call it Greedy Bitch Syndrome.  I'm sure she stops to pick up pennies on the sidewalk, and not because she thinks they might be lucky.

To people like the cheap bitch I've described above, I have only one thing to say.  You should learn to use your money like toilet paper, because in the end run, that's all it's going to be worth.  May your ass be big enough to utilize your wealth!  You certainly were a big enough ass in real life.